Beneath the Surface
by Shoshanah
Summary: This story takes place after the war and leaves Hermione and Severus desperate on their own - each of them not knowing what to do with their life. But destiny planned these two to cross their paths and experience something unexpected. Explicit adult content in later chapters, only mature readers! Story is completedand uploaded. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

Author's note:  
At first I have to give the obligatory disclaimer - I don't own any of the Harry Potter World, no characters or places, except these, which I invented for this story. Anything which is known to you belongs to J.K. Rowling - and anything else sprang from my mind. ^_^

Furthermore I want to admit that this story is a lot of firsts for me.  
It's the first fanfiction I've ever written.  
It's also the first story I wrote in English, for it's not my native language (so please be kind if you find any mistakes in spelling, grammar or sentence construction - I checked it 5 times and have done the best I could =))  
It's also the first story I wrote containing explicit mature content in later chapters, so adult readers only - please!  
And last but not less important - it's the first story I wrote which I think is written well enough to present it to you - my readers. And so I publish it here, releasing it from my care and giving it to you - in the hope, that you too can feel with the protagonists and enjoy the turn their lives is about to take!  
My goal is only to entertain and I hope you'll like the story and the characters as much as I do.  
And now let's get started with our most beloved potions professor and the smartest of his former students...  
Enjoy! =)

**Chapter 1**

The sound of the closing door behind him was echoing in his ears. A deep relieved exhalation left his tensed lips as he closed his eyes. He reopened them and chose to have a closer watch to his new home.  
The big and empty entrance hall stared gloomily back at him – unable to make him feel any better. He couldn't even remember, why he exactly had bought this place at all. The depressing silence emerging from the empty halls around him crept nearer, searching to find a way to his already troubled mind. With long strides, which he executed in a super self-assured way, he measured the entrance hall, setting his foot on the cold marble steps, disturbing the dust gathered there for a long time.  
Reaching a room in the back of the first floor he decided to establish his quarters in this darkest of chambers. It was quite big with two windows, offering a view about the savaged garden, filled with old and knobby trees. Its orientation to the north promised him a dark and save space to wallow in his self-pity. The perfect choice for the miserable bedroom of a miserable life.  
He cleared his pockets and pulled his wand from his robes. Silently, without uttering a mere sound, he began to unshrink his furniture and clothes to their original size. All things started to flow through the halls and rooms. At least he tried to make the rooms more welcoming than they have been before. After one and a half hour he felt satisfied for the beginning and started walking down to the ground floor. Just before reaching the stairs he saw himself opposite of a dusty mirror, covering the wall from top to bottom. Carefully he stepped nearer and had a closer look at himself. His thin frame was clothed in black wool, wrapping his long limbs. Pale and translucent his skin stood out from the surrounding. Nothing new. But his dark, nearly black eyes, examined his face and neck. Dark, scarred and uneven skin covered the right side of his neck. The red and vitriolised parts of his skin reached up into his face, passing his mouth, covered his cheek and ended at the outer part of his right eyebrow. He stared unbelieving at his reflection, unable to process what his eyes could see.  
A sudden sting in his head made him turn and continued his way down, while wondering what hideous creature he had become.  
‚Finally,' he thought resigned ‚the outer is matching the inner.'  
His long fingers trailed down the cold and even handrail of the marble stone stairs. Setting food into the kitchen, he started heating the oven to prepare a tea to celebrate the start into his second life.

A dumb headache had woken her up. Still dizzy Hermione tried to move her head and to open her eyes. The light hurt in her eyes and she groaned with pain. Her eyes weren't able to focus her surrounding, everything was a blur of colour and shape and a sudden nausea came over her. With closed eyelids she tried to remember what had happened to her. Her right hand was cramped around the well-known form of her wooden wand. Slowly the memories of the latest incidents crawled back into her consciousness.  
She had tried to solve a problem. Or more precise – a whole bunch of problems at once. The months after the fall of the Dark Lord had been busy with reparations on the one hand and the mourning of the dead on the other. So much had been going on that she had started a search for a spell that could help them to cope with all the negative affects of the war. It took her 8 months to find a book dealing with spells and incantations affecting not only the nearby surroundings and actual time but up to a whole country and the last past months, maybe even years. And there it was – the spell which promised to relieve the negative affects of historical events. The whole chapter dealt with effects of war and natural catastrophes and described how they could be treated with this spell. She researched the spell and although there were some paragraphs of the book illegible she decided it would be safe to cast it.  
She couldn't remember what had happened after she had spoken the incantation combined with a complex movement of the hand. But now she was lying in the corner of the room, her head hurting and unable to remember if her spell had worked out the way she had planned it to. Struggling she sat herself up, leaning her back against the cold walls of her home. Her mouth felt dry and her tongue was nearly sticking on the roof of her mouth. She could see the small bottle filled with water on the table opposite of her.  
Sighing she lifted her hand, wand ready. „Accio bottle!"  
While waiting for the bottle her heart skipped a beat. Then two.  
Nothing happened.  
Unbelieving she stared at her hand, at her wand, so familiar and yet feeling that strange. Again she uttered the words and again the magic dismissed her. Tears were welling up in her eyes and an unbelieving gasp left her mouth.  
What had she done?

Some days later Severus had found a way of daily routine, whose only purpose it was to keep him busy and distract him from thinking about his life. The impressive mirror in the first floor had vanished behind a dark green veil of velvet, so he wasn't forced to see his disturbing reflection any longer.  
He had established a potions lab in the dark and safe rooms in the cellar of the small old manor he had purchased. Some of the necessary ingredients he was growing in the big and overgrown garden which reminded him of his own mind.  
Although he could remember every ingredient list he ever used for a potion his memory was having blank gaps which couldn't be filled by himself.  
The waking up after his being wounded was hurtful and disturbing. He could remember his name. He could remember what marigold was used for. Even the face of his abhorred father was still available in his blasted memory.  
But what he has done before and which persons were near to him was stored away in a place of his mind he couldn't reach by pure will power.  
And this unjust and ignorant god deciding about his fate should know he had tried to reach it enough. They had told him what happened in that night and that it had took them months to neutralise the venom of the horcrux-snake, but it was behind their properties to safe his damaged skin and his odious look.  
The venom had burnt his skin from within. It had spread up his halse and the right part of his face until it reached his hairline. It had also burnt the dermis on his right shoulder and chest. Instead of his pale and silky skin there were dark and sensitive craters, scarred parts which couldn't be healed.  
The phantom of the opera was a fucking shit against his appearance.  
They also told him that nobody knew that he survived the attack of the Dark Lord. With all these perilous death eaters still on the run they recommended him to change his name and to keep a low profile.  
The only one he still had contact on a more or less regular basis to was the headmistress of Hogwarts, Minerva McGonagall. She had also monitored his treatment and organised his way back into - yes, into what? A life even more pathetic than before. He panted heavily at this thought.  
He had started with the only thing which could calm his troubled and unsteady mind - brewing potions. And soon he had opened a small business under his new alias "Tristius Anguis" and spend most of the days staring into coloured flames and lucent vapors steaming up from bubbling potions, while considering that death would have been a more merciful solution for him.

It was literally the first time in her life Hermione didn't know what to do. Obviously her magic had gone. But why it had vanished and how it could be brought back she had no clue at all. She had searched through all the available books and had sent owls to every spells-master she knew but nobody had ever heard of the strange spell she had casted or of the vanishing of ones personal magic.  
After a month she had given up all hope to regain her magical power so soon and not even her friends could help her or offer her consolation.  
Unsure what to do with a life without magic, she decided to look for an interim job to get away and clear her mind which still left her enough time to research further for a still hidden resolution.  
On a daily basis she scanned the Daily Prophet for a job offer that suited her needs until her hope slowly faded away.  
After 4 weeks she wasn't even paying attention anymore while browsing through the thin pages when an offer written in an elegant archaic font caught her eye.  
Newly established potions lab is offering a job for a brewing assistant. Required are an „Outstanding" in potions and the ability to work hard, concentrated and reliable. Board and lodge are free, therefore the payment is on the lower limit. If you're interested send an owl to Tristius Anguis, keyword „potions assistant".  
Hermione wondered if a job as brewing assistent would be proper, but at least it was something she was good at without the need of using magic all the time.  
She decided it was worth a shot and immediately started writing an application. Her quill scratched over the dry paper, while she was explaining the pros and cons she had to offer.  
„Dear Mr Anguis,  
With greatest interest I inspected your offer in the Daily Prophet. I can assure you that I match all your required demands and that I would consider myself quite lucky to support your potions production.  
As I'm unattached and not bound to any place or person, I can offer my help for even longer periods on a stretch, as they are needed for the brewing of advanced potions which need a long period of surveillance as poly juice potion e.g.  
I only request some spare time to dedicate myself to my own research.  
And now I also need to speak about a maybe unexpected problem. Since an accident some weeks ago I'm no longer able to use magic. Since magic isn't absolutely necessary for brewing potions I hope this won't get in the way for I'm desperately looking forward to start my work in your business.  
Looking to recieve your owl very soon,  
Kindest regards,  
H"  
And there she halted. It seemed not so wise to tell somebody unknown her situation and her real name. Maybe it would be better to use a new name, so her traces couldn't be followed as easy. There were still a lot of death eaters on the run and the last thing Hermione needed was a mad killer knowing she was unprotected and defenceless.  
After some quiet contemplation she finished her letter.  
„Kindest regards,  
Hester Aulica"  
It sounded nice and she was quite satisfied with her new name and hoped it would bring her good luck, so that she could start her new job soon. She called her small tawny owl Columbus and bound the letter carefully on his leg. After giving him a last treat and petting his soft plumage she told him where to deliver her application and sent him with a last mute prayer on his way.  
With a soft hoot the small owl vanished in the evening sky.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Oh how he was sick from all these idiotic boneheads! How could they possibly think an „exceeds expectations" would be sufficient if he had clearly demanded an „outstanding"!  
Severus tried to calm himself while the actual wasted application caught fire and burnt down to mere grey ashes in his fire place. With a grim sneer he watched the last billows of smoke fade away while he finally reached for the last letter. With a silent prayer he unrolled the pergament, the hope that he wasn't the only reasonable person in this country had not yet totally relinquished.  
A beautiful clear handwriting came to his view and he started to read the well chosen words. At least this one was leaving an impression - he felt an attachment to these lines he couldn't explain. The only possible reason could be their similar situation of life - an accident had ruined their lifes forever.  
Inexplicable he got quite curious how she had lost her magical abilities. He had never heard of something similar before. Usually you were born with or without magic and this stayed the same over the course of your life. At least as far as he knew.  
And for the rest of the evening he found himself wondering and browsing through the books of his decent library looking for an explanation of this mystery.  
Because of his clingy curiosity and the lost hope to find anyone more suitable he decided to give Ms Aulica a chance to prove herself. And on the next day he informed her by owl that he'd be glad to welcome her as his new employee.

With shivering hands she detached the small parchment roll from the leg of the big grey owl, which had knocked on her window just a week after she had sent her application on its way.  
In a spiky yet good legible scripture she could read:  
„Dear Ms Aulica,  
I'd like to inform you about the positive decision on your application for the job as assistant in my potions lab.  
I'd suggest to start your position as soon as possible.  
Will you arrive by floo or by muggle transportation? I'll prepare a room for your stay.  
Of course you're allowed to use the library to research on your own.  
Regards,  
T. Anguis"  
With closed eyes and a deep sigh Hermione pressed the letter against her chest. Looks like destiny would be merciful this time. And immediately her mind started to spur and plan her relocation.  
At first she decided to get an appointment at her favourite hair dresser. New life - new look, that at least was what all the magazines expected from a woman, right?!  
Just to weeks later she had packed her stuff and organised everything for her current.  
„Do you have everything you need? You know you can't just come back when I have sealed and shielded everything..." Harry's green eyes looked at her quizzically. Hermione sighed and patted him on his shoulder.  
„Everything will be fine, I assure you. I'll promise to owl you as soon as I've unpacked my stuff. Okay?"  
He could see the determination in her hazelnut brown eyes and shook his head.  
Grinning he answered, „You're not just the smartest but also the most stubborn witch of your age! I just don't understand why you won't just live with us at Grimmauld Place? You know we'd welcome you anytime and..."  
But she interrupted him sternly.  
„Just stop it now, Harry. We have discussed this far more often than I need to and I lack time for myself to clear my mind an reorganise my life. And therefore I need some air to breath."  
Her hand ran through her fringy chin-long curls and a soft smile built on her lips. Abruptly she drew Harry in a hug and whispered in his ear, „Anything will be alright, I promise."  
She let go of him and took a last view at her empty surrounding. Then she grasped a handful of floo powder, stepped into her fireplace and called loud and clear, „Everwinter Hall!"  
Green flames roared up and engulfed her and Crookshanks in his transport cage immediately before she vanished in front of Harry's eyes.  
He remained silent for some more moments before he left Hermione's house through the front door and started to recite all the shielding spells he knew. With a nearly inaudible crack he apparated back home not without a subliminal sorrow dwelling in his mind.

Nervously Severus stared at the enormous grandfather clock in the entrance hall, which was relentlessly counting the seconds, no matter how he felt and cursed his nerviness.  
He had spent the day to prepare Hester's lodging and the rest of the grand house, which still appeared a little bit empty. But even more time he had spent in front of the mirror. After staring at his hideous appearance for more than 20 minutes he had decided that it would be best for everyone when he changed his look. He didn't want to impress the woman but to make sure she wouldn't leave the house screaming after just 2 seconds in his humble presence.  
He had snorted and started to change his looks layer by layer. A skilled wizard like him was able to apply the magic like makeup, so it changed his appearance part by part for the eyes and touch of others. Although it would withdraw some of his magical strength, he decided it would be worth the effort.  
He had started with the scarred skin which covered the right half of his face, neck and shoulder. With every passing second it got more even until nothing of the colour and texture reminded him on his „accident" anymore. Afterwards he had changed his nose. He made it just a little smaller and less bowed. He also hadn't shaved for 5 days and a short beard was covering his angular chin. His eyes got a little shade of brown, so they weren't that dark black anymore. Next was his hair. He decided to shorten it a little bit, so that it barely covered his ears. The last touch was his voice, whose sound he altered just enough so that nobody could recognise it was him speaking.  
Finally he was satisfied and decided it would have to do now and that's when he strolled back to the entrance hall to wait for his new assistant to arrive.  
Just 5 minutes after their agreed meeting time the flames of the chimney flared up and just an instant later they cleared the outline of a young woman with a cage in her left hand.  
The green light vanished as fast as it had lit up and the stranger stept out of the chimney and dusted herself lightly with her hands. The big orange cat sitting in the box stared at him, calculating, nearly knowing and he swallowed hard.  
‚Hope this wasn't a mistake!' crossed his mind.  
She lifted her head up and a bright smile formed on her lips when she closed the distance between them and offered him her small hand for a formal salutation.  
Severus's hand grasped hers when he welcomed her as smooth as possible.  
„Welcome Ms Aulica. I hope you could arrange anything needed and bring everything you wanted? Or is there some more help or travelling required?"  
Still smiling she shook her head.  
„Thank you so much, Mr Anguis. A friend of mine will take care of the securing of my house and I really have everything packed with me. But it was convenient if you could just do me the favour of unshrinking my luggage."  
Nervously her hands interlocked while her smile changed and got an unsure facet.  
Severus nodded and and bowed his head lightly.  
„It would be my honour to offer you all needed support in this matter," he tried to assure her.  
And while her eyes lit up, a strange feeling crept up his spine which he ignored, just as he was used to.  
He showed her the way to her room which was located in the first floor, too. But while his chambers laid at the dark northern end, her rooms where located in the south-eastern parts of the level.  
As it was just around lunchtime the sun swept in through the high clear windows and spread a nice welcoming ambience. Glowing she stood in the sunlight, taking in the sight around her and, as far as Severus could judge, looked quite pleased.  
After she had emptied her pockets and put everything in front of her on the bed which had a silvery cover laying on top, Severus started to cast the necessary spells silently.  
„I admire your wandless magic! You're very skilled in that kind of spells, aren't you?"  
She looked at him with her big brown eyes and although he had never been somebody to boast, he was a little bit proud to receive such a compliment. Especially when it was offered in this honest way.  
„Thank you." He nodded and his gaze wandered over her face.  
„Do you need anything else?"  
She shook her head and smiled again.  
„Then I'll leave you for now. There will be dinner around 7 p.m. I'll meet you down in the hall and show you the dining room. If you need anything don't hesitate to ask me. Or you can call Mili, the house-elf. She can provide you with some tea or fruit in between the meals.„  
And with that he nodded a last time and turned to leave the room.  
„Mr Anguis?"  
He glanced back at her, standing In the middle of the room, a halo of golden sunlight around her.  
„Thank you for everything," and a dashing smile spread on her face.  
He nodded again and left her room.  
'Oh holy Merlin. What have I gotten myself into?' he thought while shaking is head and leaving in direction of his bedroom, still ignoring the slight tingle in his stomach.

After arranging all her stuff Hermione started exploring her room. It was well-spaced and bright because the sun could reach in through two windows which reached nearly from the floor to the ceiling. She opened one of them to get access to the fresh April air outside and to the small balcony attached to her room. Hermione stepped outside and inspected her surrounding with the strange feeling that this would be her new home. At least as far as her plans had prospered. The beautiful garden, wild and ready to be explored stretched out before her view.  
She could also spot the borders of the estate where a dark and savage forest began to grow. Even now in the brightest light of day there seemed to emerge a slight fog from between the aged and knotty trees. A shiver crept up her arms and she drove her view back to the garden where she could detect some beds, clean and cared for, where a lot of potion ingredients grew. She smiled because she could feel the dedication and passion her new boss was investing into his business.  
Carefully she started to stow away all her clothes, books and other personal things in the big wardrobe, whose door was squeaking when she opened it. There was also space for all her books in two immense bookshelves, lining one wall on the opposite of her bed.  
Crooks had already captured his new favourite spot on a sideboard with a perfect view over the garden and the possibility to sunbath. With a heavy sigh Hermione fell backwards on her bed and sunk into the soft covers. She stared at the dark blue ceiling of her room, which was decorated with some silver stars, matching her bed cover.  
A smile crept on her lips. ‚I think this can be a place to feel complete.'  
She had one more hour until it was time to go down for dinner and Hermione decided to take a shower and change her clothes into something a little bit more comfortable.  
There was a private bathroom attached to her chamber, which was equipped with a shower and - to her greatest pleasure - with a very comfortable looking bathtub. She could already imagine to lie in the hot water, reading an interesting book and relax and forget all her sorrows.  
When it was 7 o'clock she left her room, wearing a comfortable jeans and a green sweater. Coming down the stairs she saw Mr Anguis already waiting in the entrance hall.

Severus had been waiting in his room for already 30 minutes before he thought it might be safe to stroll down to the entrance hall. He didn't want to appear desperate, because he had waited far longer than it would have done him good. Even his look had to bear his critical examination again. And it did pass this challenge. So he stood there in the big empty hall, inspecting the pattern the dark green and light grey tiles showed on the floor.  
Just when his breath wanted to unload in a heavy sigh he heard steps in the first floor. His eyes reached up, checking the dark hallway for a sign of his new housemate, when he could get a glimpse on her. Strangely enough to live together with a totally unacquainted person, but since she had arrived the vast manor of Everwinter felt more like home than it had the last months. Something about her made it feel familiar for him, nearly caring, but as he wasn't used to feel this kind of feelings and didn't know how to characterise them he suppressed und tried to bury them deep in his heart. At least it was easier just to act on a logical basis than on an emotionally one.  
Carefully she was stepping down the stairs, one step at a time and her hand glided down on the handrail.  
When she reached him he looked into her warm brown eyes and asked, „Is everything satisfying for you? Do you need something else in your room?"  
She shook her head and her curls were swinging lightly around her beautiful face.  
„Thank you. Everything is beyond perfection. I already feel at home!"  
Severus couldn't believe his ears. It seemed she was unwavering positive and optimistic. That was a concept behind his grasp because he usually was so down-to-earth, that it was a miracle he didn't need antidepressants.  
„If you're ready I'll show you the dining room.„  
And while she followed him, he added, „And after dinner I'd like to show you the rest of the manor."  
Her eyes started gleaming and she nodded eagerly.  
Severus could almost hear her smile, while she was speaking.  
„I'm nearly starving! But afterwards I'd love to see the rest of this beautiful manor. Thank you."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3  
After a superb dinner which was prepared by Mili, Severus showed his new flatmate around. At first he led her to the kitchen and introduced her to his small servant. The small elf appeared quite young and was staring at the young woman with blatant curiosity.  
After that he showed Hester the way to his sanctum – the library. He didn't bother to bring a lot of stuff from Spinner's End but his books where his most precious possession next to his potions lab. And so it came that the library was the only warm and cosy room Everwinter had to offer at the moment. Proudly he presented her his thousands of books and explained to her the way he had arranged them in the nearly ceiling high shelves. The chimney was lit and there were a lot of candles lightening the room and showing the comfortable suite near the fireplace.  
With an unbelievable stare his guest wandered around, touching a book here and there and then gleaming at him.  
„This is an unbelievable collection, Mr Anguis! I feel highly honoured that you're trusting me to handle your treasure well. I'm a bibliophilic myself and I appreciate a nice book and a hot tea as one of the greatest pleasures life has to offer."  
He couldn't help but felt his lips twitching in a faint smile.  
„You're very welcome."  
After representing the rest of the house, Severus was accompanying his guest back to her quarters.  
„I'd like to introduce you to my business and the potions lab tomorrow morning. I'm quite an early bird, so I usually start working at 7 o'clock. Would this be convenient for you?"  
She nodded and answered. „Of course."  
„Then I'll meet you in the entrance hall at 7 and wish you a good night for now."  
He bowed slightly. „Good night."  
And with a last smile she disappeared behind the heavy wooden doors. It took Severus several minutes to calm down his mind. While laying in his undecorated bed he wondered how it would be living together with this young woman which made him feel so much more alive, nearly like his life could make sense for something. And since long time he fell asleep and slept dreamlessly through the whole night.

Hermine awoke at 5.30 in the next morning. Dawn had already begun and after stretching every limb she started her daily routine. She was quite nervous, wondering what her boss was expecting her to do.  
Write invoices? Check the stock? Brew potions on her own while he was visiting clients? Label vials? Or maybe all together?  
After taking a shower she decided to wear a jeans and a dark grey longsleeve. From her experience it was important to have an unhampered mobility and an unrestricted view. So she tied back the curls from her face. Prepared like this she called for Mili.  
The house-elf, dressed in a clean kitchen towel appeared with a light plop and bowed deep.  
„What does Mili can the mistress help with?" The big grey eyes stared eagerly up to her.  
„Good morning Mili. You can call me Hester. I'd like to have breakfast in the dining room in 10 minutes. Would you be so nice and prepare it for me, please?"  
The house-elf nodded and asked, „What would mistress Hester like Mili to prepare for her?"  
With a chuckle Hermione said, „Some scrambled eggs and a toast would be wonderful. And a pot of green tea. Thank you."  
The elf vanished with a plop and Hermione sighed. House-elfes were marvellous creatures. At least it seemed that Mr Anguis was treating his servant in a decent manner.  
She slipped into her sneakers and started making her way downstairs, accompanied by Crooks, who was observing the surroundings in his usual wary manner.  
When entering the dining room Hermione spotted her boss immediately, sitting on his table, reading the Daily Prophet and sipping from a cup of coffee.  
Before he realised she was there, she used the chance to observe him a little closer. His black hair was reaching until his ears. He had a short beard, a just slightly crooked nose, dark brown eyes that appeared nearly black and pale skin, looking like sheer porcelain. She estimated him to be in his 40s, but his classic looks made him appear even younger. What had caught her eye immediately when she had seen him first, was his troubled and sorrow loaded look. His view was unsteady and seemed sad and she wondered what he had endured during this awful war. She sighed without purpose which made him looking up.  
Hermione greeted him before he would eonder what she was looking at.  
„Good morning Mr Anguis. I hope you had a good night?"  
„Thank you, yes."  
„May I sit with you for breakfast? But if you prefer eating alone, I can have breakfast in my room, too." She offered him.  
„No, you can join me. I'm anyway done with reading already." And with a nod of his head he invited her to sit.

He observed her moving to the table and taking a seat.  
‚Now my fears become true. I have to sit on the breakfast table and chatter with somebody about brainless nonsense.' His mood worsened at an instant.  
But against his fear she sat quietly and the next moment the breakfast Mili had made showed up before her. He observed her having breakfast, unbelieving she wasn't forcing a conversation upon him. Politely she asked him for the newspaper which he gave her still unbelieving.  
‚With what else will she surprise me in the future?' Severus thought.  
Just half an hour later she followed him into the basement. Severus opened an enormous black wooden door and showed her the lab and the storage rooms. He asked her about her experience with potions and she gave him a detailed report about the potions they had studied at school. While she was talking he wondered where she had gone to school. He could remember to have taught in Hogwarts but her name was unknown to him. Maybe she knew him but couldn't recognise him. But who knows what tricks his mind was playing on him. It could also be that he knew her and couldn't recognize her. Instead of dwelling on his lost memories he focused on the business he had to run.  
After talking about the schedule for the coming week he gave his new employee the first potions to brew. Without any hesitation she got down to work. Of course he gave her easier to brew potions for the beginning, but he noticed rather content she didn't even bother to look into a recipe. She fetched some few ingredients and started to prepare them.  
He could observe that the cutting, counting, weighing and heating up the cauldrons were like her second nature. She was so absorbed by her tasks that she didn't even realised him staring at her.  
Around lunchtime he was absolutely sure and relieved that he had hired the perfect person for this job. Hester was capable of everything he required of her. Every potion, every ingredient - she knew anything. But even more convincing was her ability to work silent, quick and without getting in his way.  
And after their first weeks working together he encountered himself being quite struck by her. And he caught himself thinking about her even when they didn't work together. Somehow this strange feeling gathering in his belly couldn't be ignored any longer.  
But what the hell should it mean?

Hermione was lying in her bed, staring open-eyed on the ceiling, following the dreamy pattern of silver stars on the dark blue background. Since 5 weeks she was now living in Everwinter and anything - despite her lack of magic - was just perfect.  
She pondered. She had left the manor since she had arrived just once. She had gone with her boss to Diagon Alley to check if she was able to open the excess to the wizardry shopping street. And to their both surprise she was. So they had bought some ingredients and a new iron cauldron and left the city without meeting somebody they knew. Anything else needed had been so far organised by Mr Anguis or by Mili the house-elf. But may it be her restless personality or the years of war and constant vigilance, she felt agitated, nearly as something could happen.  
The next day Hermione went to Diagon Alley to buy some fresh supplies for an experimental potion Mr Anguis was working on. It should treat not only the physical injuries after an accident or an attack. But its main purpose should be to heal the mind to. Unrecognised because of her lowered hood she traversed the Leaky Cauldron to open the gateway in the backyard. Another wizard had followed and they stepped through the opening in the brick wall.  
As usually Hermione catched her breath. She loved the crowded atmosphere and the magical tension which dammed up between the sloping down roofs of the old shops. Memories dwelling up she tried to concentrate and focus on her job. She stepped into the apothecary to purchase two strands of unicorn hair, a piece of a dragon eggshell, two dried root parts of a monkey bread tree and 3 vials fresh saltwater from the Bermuda triangle. The old lady attending her needs packed everything into shatterproof paper.  
„Shall I shrink it for you and pack it into a bag?", she asked more automatic than friendly.  
„Yes, thank you." Hermione nodded approving.  
3 Galeons and 5 Sickles were exchanged and a pleased customer stowed the neatly packed purchase away in her pockets.  
She left the apothecary with a relieved mood and startet to head back to the Leaky Cauldron to use their chimney to floo home. But like magic a shop window caught her attention. She left the middle of the road, checked the display and entered the well known shop.  
A smell which was a mixture of paper, printing ink, leather and knowledge welcomed her dearly. A sigh left Hermiones lips. She couldn't resist the book shop. Her hands touched the covers of so many unread books. She read some lines here and a paragraph there.  
When she entered the second hand and antiques section her gaze fell to an old book with a time-worn dark emerald cover. „Magic and its origin - Where does Magic come frome and go to?"  
Her heartbeat accelerated. After scanning some of the topics she decided to buy this book. New hope aroused in her belly. Maybe there was something new she could learn about her state of magicless being.  
After paying and stowing her newest achievement away, Hermione headed back to the dark pub to get home. The Leaky Cauldron was jammed with wizards and witches, getting in or coming from Diagon Alley or muggle London and she waited in a queue until it was her turn to use the floo.  
Loudly and clearly she pronounced „Everwinter Hall!" when the green flames roared. The last she saw was a grin from the wizard standing next in the queue but before she could be surprised the pull caught her and flashed her through the network until she saw the entrance hall of her new working and living space. She then stepped out of the green fire and dusting herself up. Before she called for Mili.  
With a silent plop the house-elf emerged out of nowhere and bowed.  
„How may I help mistress Hester?", she asked with her high voice.  
„Mili, please go and tell your master that I'm back with his order."  
The elf nodded understanding and plop, she vanished immediately.  
The next she heard was the uproaring of the chimney and startled she turned around. But just a moment later she was hit by a red light and lost her consciousness not without detecting the same chill grin as before her departure from the Leaky Cauldron.

Severus was bent over a cauldron containing a half-done portion of Skele-Grow, when he heard the slight plop. He raised his head, looking over his shoulder to find his house-elf standing near to the door.  
„Master, mistress Hester has arrived from her shopping and told Mili to inform you about her bringing your order. She is waiting in the entrance hall."  
He nodded.  
„Mili, prepare the lunch for us. We'll be ready in half an hour."  
Nodding the house-elf plopped away.  
Severus lowered the heat under the cauldron he was actually working on and stepped back. He left the potions lab closing the heavy door with a deep slam behind him. After ascending the stairs from the basement he stepped through the corridor leading to the entrance hall. His steps were echoing between the empty walls of this part of his home.  
He turned around the corner to enter the big hall with the green and grey pattern on the floor when he almost was struck by a blue lightning.  
At an instant his instincts took his body over and he had his wand ready. He crouched behind the corner, casting a mirror spell to see, what was going on in the entry. A tall man with short blond hair was standing in front of the chimney. Severus didn't recognize him. But the figure laying unconscious next to him made his heart bolt. Hester!  
‚This damn dirtbag had stunned her! I'll show him what he got into!'  
His brows had furrowed down, his dark brown eyes glittering with fury. He stepped forth casting one silent spell after another at the unfamiliar intruder, blocking any spell the guy fired in his rage at him.  
Instead of hitting him with a red stupor Severus unintentionally stroke the tall grandfather clock standing next to the chimney.  
It exploded straightaway, pulling the invader down with the force of its burst. While falling the housebreaker fired another shot at Severus.  
Jumping out of the way he heard the glass cabinet next to him shattering into a thousend pieces. Bumping on the hard marble floor he felt a stinging pain in his elbow and heard the crack it produced when colliding with the hard material. But as quick as the feeling came it left and he let the thousand sharp glass chips from the cabinet rush to his offender. Busy with shielding himself with a shimmering silver protecting shield the man wasn't able to cast another spell on Severus. That was the split second he needed to subdue the unknown attacker.  
A flash of blue and a flash of green light shot out of his wand. The blue one hit the guy at his left costal arch, making him immobile. The other one hit him directly in the back, making him fall over and dropping to floor like a heavy tree log. Not one word had been spoken by any of them and Severus took a deep and hurtful breath.  
His ribs ached, his elbow began to swell and he had several cuts in his hands and in his face. Still adrenalin-fuelled he rushed over to Hester and the intruder.  
It took him just a flick of his wand and a heavy rope appeared and started to bind the tall man. Severus was sure nothing could happen, that guy was still immobile from his last spell combination. He bent down to Hester who was still lying on the floor.  
Her breath was shallow and she wasn't responding to his addressing her. Pointing his wand carefully at her chest he quietly spoke a spell, „Rennervate!"  
A red light came crowling out of his wand tip, embracing her limp body and vanishing into her. Nothing happened.  
At first.  
After a moment which felt like an hour she inhaled sharply. Her eyes wide in shock she started flailing around, aiming at Severus.  
„Okay, okay, anything is okay. Shhh..." He caught her hands by her tiny wrists, heaving her up and pressing her against his chest.  
Tears started to dwell in her chocolate brown eyes and uncontrollable sobs shook her body. But he refused to let go of her until she had calmed down...


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

After getting to her feet, Hermione was still a little dizzy. How the hell could that have happened? Her head spun around all possibilities and one was more absurd than the other.  
She was sure he must have tracked her down in Diagon Alley. Maybe in the bookshop or later on her way back to the Leaky Cauldron. At least he had stood right behind her and heard her saying where she wanted to floo.  
What a stupid beginner's mistake. As if she hadn't fought in that war.  
„Hester, are you okay?"  
Her view shot up into the gaze of her boss who was nearly one head taller than her. It was the first time he had used her first name. They had kept a strictly professional relationship until now. But after saving her from blatant mortal danger she asumed it would just be fair to switch to their prenames.  
„Hester?"  
The dark brown eyes were still eyeing warily. She nodded. Before he would sent her to St Mungo's.  
„Thanks. I'm still a little bit worn out. But it'll do for now."  
Her voice was still a little unsteady.  
Relieve manifested in his face. But an instant later he turned and walked towards the gigantic blond man who was still not moving.  
Tristius - ‚Am I allowed to use his prename also?' she thought. With a single powerful movement he yanked down the sleeve of the dark cloak her persuer wore and she gasped.  
A mad grinning skull from which a snake emerged showed on his forearm.  
After rushing back to the storage room Tristius came back, a small crystal vial in his hand. A potion, clear as water, was moving in it. Hermione gasped. This had to be Veritaserum.  
She knew the use of this potion was strictly limited and officially it was only allowed to be used by the Ministry of Magic itself. But as a skilled potioneer it was just consequent that Tristius had one or two vials at home. He opened the mouth of the still unidentified death eater and poured the translucent liquid down his throat. After making sure the retrianing cord was still safe he rescinded the immobility.  
The death eater was now staring directly at them both, hateful at Hermione and disbelieving at Tristius. But it was impossible to move for him and he didn't speak himself, so Tristius started the inquiry.  
„Who are you?", he asked in a cold and lurking tone. Just a growl left the blond's throat.  
„Who are you?", demanded Tristius again, now showing pure anger in his voice.  
„Sykes.", the attacker grunted.  
„Sykes what?" her boss asked quiet but cold as the wintersun.  
The intruder fought the urge to tell them the truth. His breathing was jerky, stressed and his lips pressed together until there was almost no blood left in them. But he was fighting a combat he couldn't win. Ultimately the potion working in his system was gaining the mastery.  
„Adair Sykes!" the blond spat out and panic could be seen in his view.  
Searching her memory Hermione found she had never heard of him. But that actually didn't matter because he didn't had that awful tattoo because it was the latest trend.  
Tristius wasn't surprised either, so he just kept asking before the effect of the potion could fade.  
„How did you come here?" But again Sykes was just grinding his teeth, trying to resist the truth potion. That this was a hurtful contempt could easily be seen. Sweat had appeared on his forehead and his face was getting red, his veins sticking out.  
„Tell me how you came here!" Tristius had grabbed him by his dirty white collar. Again, a power he couldn't resist forced out his answer, pressed and haunted.  
„I used the floo network. I came through the chimney."  
„And what are you here for?" With screwed up eyes Tristius examined the facial expression.  
Hermiones heart skipped a beat. Obviously, this death eater had followed her, so he must know who she was. What should she do, if he told Tristius the truth about her?  
„I came for her. Met her in Diagon Alley and overheard her using the floo network. So I could follow."  
„What do you want from her?" Her boss's voice was now as cold as the first silver ice on the Great Lake.  
But nothing more than a hoarse and lunatic laugh left his throat. Apparently the impact of the potion had already faded away. They had waited too long or Sykes was stronger to resist it than they had thought.  
Hermione was disappointed and relieved at the same time. For this time herself and her secret would be safe.

Severus teeth were grinding. He layed down and stared at the ebony ceiling, tracing the light grey pattern with his unsteady glance.  
He had have a short contact with the Ministry and soon after that two aurors had arrived and had taken Sykes into safe keeping. Hester had been in her room. He had dosed her with some healing potions and treated her with some Dittany extract on her head where she had suffered a light brusted contusion. After dinner they had agreed to back down and spend the rest of the evening in their rooms.  
But now Severus felt even more agitated than when he had fought against that brainless prat. The picture of Hester laying unconsciouss on the ground was haunting his mind and made his palms sweaty and a stir flashed up in his stomach. He just couldn't bear the thought of having lost her.  
‚When exactly did this happen?' He wondered and thought about their weeks working and living together.  
Since some time they had shared even the evening hours by sitting together reading in his sublime library. It was pleasant and against his apprehension it didn't bother him being with someone else.  
Or to be more specific - being with her.  
His privacy was actually one of his most valued treasures and considering this fact it had stunned him even more. Of course he knew that he really wasn't a sentimental fool. Well, to be honest he despised that etching fuss about emotions and other needless stuff. What had emotions gained him in his life? Nothing but hurt, danger and a fucking memory loss. But he was sure he didn't lose his attitude towards that useless nonsense called feelings.  
Shaking his head he took a deep breath, trying to empty his mind and focus his thoughts on the new riddle which laid before him. It was trying to seduce him to find out and solve it.  
His relief that this mad death eater scum hadn't try to find him, just vexed him with the question - why was he after Hester?  
What role had she played in that dismal war? She was so young and fragile. He couldn't imagine her on the foremost front fighting against the Dark Lord himself.  
On the other hand there had been a lot of small wars on the side. And maybe it hadn't been her but her parents or friends or neighbours who had gotten her into that immense danger. And now, she was in mortal peril and not able to protect and defend herself by magic. Again the symptoms of heavy stress flooded his body making it nearly impossible for him to have just one clear thought. With a heavy groan he put his palms on front of his eyes so that he didn't have to see the inevitable. He felt he couldn't escape his feelings anyway and sighed at this conclusion.  
What could somebody so lovely and beautiful possibly want from him? 

Hermione tried to find some rest but found herself too troubled by the events of the afternoon. Closing her eyes a mad blond was grinning coldly at her and she felt that intuitive fear for her life again. A fear she had felt for some time while travelling the country to find and destroy the horcruxes. But never in her life she had felt useless and incapable. Now, bereft of her magic she couldn't imagine how she would ever feel save again.  
It had been luck - sheer luck that Tristius had been at home and had come promptly to her rescue. He could have been hurt or killed but still he had fought that death eater to save her. Again she riddled how his role had been in that war. A war that was still so fresh that all the bad and frightening memories were laying close beneath the surface and just waited for something like this to happen. Something to revive the fear and terror and to nourish all the negative spirits to rise up again and take care that they wouldn't be forgotten too hastily.  
Maybe Tristius had fought also? His wandwaving was so skilled. She had often marvelled about it when they were brewing together. He was able to shoot spells of attack at nearly the same time with some defensive spells. His reflexes were incredibly fast, as if fighting was his second nature. Laying on the floor she had woken up to see the two men fighting grimly against each other before she had passed out again. She wondered why she had never heard of him. Surely he must had fought along the Order. His hateful view when he had spotted the tattoo told her more than he could have said with words.  
Thinking about this over and over she concluded he could have been on a secret mission. Maybe he had known Professor Snape. She thought about her former potions professor.  
She had despised him. To be honest, she had hated him - sometimes. Never she had felt being enough. Enough prepared or clever enough. But nevertheless she had also admired him. Especially after his dead and knowing the whole truth about him, she tried to held his deeds in honour. She hoped he could now rest in peace wherever that would be.  
Her thoughts wandered back to her boss. Was he still just her boss? He had saved her life. And he didn't even bother to ask why Sykes had been after her. And when calming her down, he had hold her so firm and sure. She still could feel his hands on her back and his chest in her face. By this memory a strange feeling was stirring in her heart, confusing her even more.  
With a deep sigh she stood up. There was no gain staring at the ceiling. She slipped in a pair of warm socks heading down into the kitchen to prepare a nice calming melissa tea and then go for a light reading at her favourite place.

Heading down the cold marble stairs he wondered if Hester was asleep. She had suffered a lot this day and he wanted to make sure she was good. But he didn't consider it appropriate to set foot into a room where a young lady was sleeping. So he went down to distract himself from overthinking the same stuff again and again.  
Standing in front of the massive wooden door which shielded the entrance to his sanctum he faltered. He could see light shimmering beneath the door. Silently pushing down the handle he entered the library. Breathlessly he took in the sight before him. Hester had fallen asleep on the dark green sofa. A cup of cold tea stood next to her on the table and a book was laying opened on her chest, going up and down with her breathing.  
But more troubling were her clothes. She was wearing something he assumed to be her pyjamas. But her shorts were just merely covering her buttocks and the top had just spaghetti straps showing off her beautiful shoulders and even the upper bulge of her breasts. Like a teenage boy he could feel his mouth getting dry and an implicit reaction in his groins. Mentally cursing himself he stood undecidedly there, not sure what to do now. As if he had never seen a woman before, his hormons totally wanted to bring him down. Incredible!  
Something got the better of him and he carefully tiptoed over to her, waving his wand and transfiguring an unused pillow into a blanket. He covered her tenderly and sat down into his armchair, taking in the peaceful sight in front of him.  
He levitated a book to him, lit a small fire in the chimney and started to read until he finally found his feelings had gone back to normal.

In the midst of the night Hermione woke up. Irritated where she might be she stretched and had a look around her. Startled, her gaze stopped, caught by an intense view of some deep brown eyes. Tristius sat across her, staring at her without showing any emotion. She could feel her blood creeping to her face when she coughed slightly.  
„I must have fallen asleep..." she muttered, unable to think of something less obvious.  
„Apparently." His view still lingered on her face showing now a different expression she wasn't able to interpret.  
With a short view at the clock hanging next to the lit chimney she stated, „I'll better head to bed then. I wish you a good night."  
Holding his curious glance on her he nodded slightly. Hermione raised, not without realizing how few fabric was actually covering her body. But still she strode with firm steps towards the dark door. Having the handle already in her sweaty hand she hesitated. Finally she turned, realising he was still observing her.  
She smiled warily and said in a low voice, „I have to thank you for saving my life today."  
Again he nodded slightly.  
„Anytime."  
And with that last word from him she left the library feeling strange and light at the same time.  
The next morning Hermione awoke later than usual. The stress had claimed its price but now she felt ready to begin the next day. After preparing herself she called Mili and ordered a bigger breakfast than usual. While heading down the stairs she wondered if she had dreamt her encounter with Tristius last night. Just thinking about it felt so surreal.  
Entering the dining room she felt a minor disappointment that her boss wasn't sitting in his usual spot reading the Daily Prophet. She sat down, grabbing the abandoned newspaper and she could see he had already read it. Her breakfast appeared in front of her and she was almost starting her scrambled egg when she heard footsteps and the door opened with a squeak. She smiled at Tristius who was entering the dining room and greeted her as usual with a nod of his head.  
„I'm sorry I'm a bit late today. I totally forgot to set the alarm." she apologised. „I can make good for it later the day if this would please you?"  
He looked up from the tea which had appeared in front of him and shook his head.  
„There is no need to. I was just checking the potions down in the lab. Anything is going quite well and as we just have potions which need a longer time of settling down before the next steps of brewing there is no need for you to work today. I think it's best you recover fully before handling poisonous ingredients."  
A small twitch of his lips and a shine in his eyes were accompanying that and Hermione was thankful for his comprehension and providence.  
„That is so considerate of you. I have planned for a long time to extend the patches in the garden. I think it would be great to have an own possibility to grow turmeric and our consumption of mandrake roots is getting higher, so maybe we can even cultivate some of these. I've learned to care for them in school. That way we could reduce our expenses in a significant level!"  
Questioning he raised one of his eyebrows, which gave her a little shiver. But finally he nodded.  
„Maybe that's a good idea. And letting the garden overgrow totally is quite a waste anyway."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

The sun was heavily shining down into the garden, as if it wanted to encourage them to spend more time outside the cold and uncomfortable basement. Severus had transfigured two tree stubs into chairs and they had sat down and planned, sketched and discussed how to expand the cultivated parts of the garden. He enjoyed Hester's ideas and her way of thinking through every other proposal he was threwing in. Their way of thinking was similar, nearly synchronised. And after that she was telling him what to do and he was accomplishing the magical tasks. Just 2 hours later there was enough space for growing even some usual greens for the kitchen and to build a small greenhouse for the more exotic thermophilic ingredients.  
While he was still transfiguring an old cupboard into a greenhouse, Hester was sitting on the chair, a notepad on her knees and scribbling down a shopping list.  
He couldn't help but glance at her every now and then and feeling himself smile about it. Wondering what her feelings towards him were, he finished his work. He stepped over to her and made her a proposal.  
„What do you think about lunch ouside?"  
„What a marvellous idea!"  
She nodded eagerly beaming up at him and making him feel like the hero of the day.  
While Severus transfigured a table fitting to the chairs, Hester ordered a lunch from Mili. Soon later they were eating and examining their work. They decided to head into town and buy everything for their new garden. It was anyhow the best time to plant mandrakes and in their small greenhouse it would be like summer for their plants.  
Half an hour later they met in the entrance hall. While Severus was wearing a dark jeans and a thin longsleeved shirt in the obligatory black, he was astonished at how lovely Hester looked like. She wore a plain yeans together with a shortsleeved shirt in a sunny yellow. He could have sworn she sparkled, smiling at him.  
„I suggest we apparate this time. At least if you trust me enough to lead you?" She nodded and stepped at his side, grabbing his arm with her slender fingers. Looking down to secure anything was alright he noticed a slight blush on her cheeks.  
Does she enjoy it or does it merely feel awkward for her? But before she would realise he was thinking about her he apparated them away into a wizard-run gardening shop. 

Hermione stared at the big areal in front of her.  
Green's leaves and Co. flaunted in light green letters over the entrance.  
They spent nearly 3 hours in the open sales area and the greenhouses, wondering over the exotic and beautiful plants of every origin.  
Hermione adored the knowledge Tristius had about all the different plants and the potions they were used for. He was so intelligent and yet humble. Never was he giving her the feeling of being stupid and he answered all her curious questions and didn't show it if he thought them dumb.  
Wandering through the plants and talking and choosing which ones to take she nearly felt like shopping with a friend or lover. And anytime he incidentally brushed her hand or put his hand on her back while showing her a particularly interesting plant she tried to suppress the feeling growing in her belly. How could he possibly mean that in a non-friendship way?  
Such a powerful, skilled and educated wizard was having both feet on the ground for sure. What would he want a witch for, who brought death eaters into his home? And just as the cherry on top - a witch with no magical powers anymore. Finally they arranged a delivery at home and left the store.  
Reaching the apparation point in front of the entrance she summoned all her courage. Carefully she reached out and grasped his hand, making im turn in astonishment.  
„Tristius, I'd really want to thank you. For this beautiful day and for saving my life yesterday. I'm sure I would be dead by now if you hadn't been there to rescue me."  
His serious view didn't change a bit as a response so she just continued.  
„If you don't have any plans for the evening I'd really love to invite you for dinner."  
Abruptly it krept into her awareness that she was still holding his hand and she let go of him feeling his touch burning against her skin. Again she blushed waiting for his answer.  
„Let me assure you that it would be my honour to accompany you for dinner. But this evening it wouldn't be appropriate, because I have to attend some potions over night and I cannot afford to let a whole batch of Dreamless Sleep to be delayed. St Mungo's is waiting for it and I actually wanted it to ship tomorrow morning."  
He was looking quite infelicitous and Hermione felt embarrassed that she had asked in the first place and guilty to bring him even more trouble in the second.  
„I'm so so sorry. I totally forgot that, but if you want I will assist you in finishing everything for this supply?"  
He shook his head.  
„Well at first let's go home."  
At an instant Hermione obliged, took his hand and felt the typical pulling at her navel. 

Back home he immediately sensed the loss of Hester's warmth when she let his hand go. He cursed his damned reliability. The hurt and embarrassment in her eyes was unmistakable even for him. Now he cursed himself.  
„I think I won't need your help down in the lab. I'd prefer you to recover completely and you can start your work again tomorrow."  
She nodded and turned. „I'll go to bed then. Thank you for the nice day."  
And without a last goodbye she headed up the the broad stairs and vanished in her room.  
His hands clenched and his teeth were grinding while he was following the stairs downstairs. His mind spun around the ifs and while unlocking the potions lab he couldn't avoid to imagine himself having a date with her. Staring into the deep pools of her eyes shimmering in the light of candles and holding her hands, while giving her a compliment about her looks. Oh yes, that would have been a far better evening than brewing potions alone. He rushed through the lab, preparing everything for the last steps to finish the potions in several cauldrons. While working on the last steps to complete the Dreamless Sleep Draught he had to be very careful. The valerian herb was smelling and just the fragrance nearly addled him. He was highly allergic against the calming down plant, at least as long as it was pure. Reacting with the other ingredients it combined its powers and changed its energy and the result wasn't poisenous for him anymore. But until that had happened he had to be very vigilant.  
He rolled up his sleeves and taking one handful of dried herb out of the big glass jar, then he took his knife and started chopping it up. Again Hester's sad face emerged before his inner eye and a small growl left his throat. Such an infuriating end for a day that had been perfect before! Eagerly he was chaffing aggressively the poor valerian, still thinking about this lost opportunity.  
His mind clouded more and more.  
When a drop of sweat was rolling from his forehead he swiped it away with his forearm. And just a moment later he felt his consciousness fade away. To late he recognised the small drop of blood emerging from his left annulary.  
And hitting the rough stone floor he was already unconscious.

Hermione felt so ashamed. Somehow she had had the feeling that he had been interested in her. But obviously she hadn't understood the signs he had sent to her. And additional she felt guilty that he was still working down in the cold basement while she was absolutely okay and able to brew a potion like the Dreamless Sleep Draught.  
At that moment she could feel the old Gryffindor pride rising up again. She changed her clothes as quick as possible and started heading down. It was just not appropriate that he'd work alone all evening and she was lazing around her room. Her steps took her automatically down the marble stairs to the entrance hall. Then she strode through the dark corridor, turning right to take the steps down into the basement. The light was still switched on and she finally reached the heavy door which shielded the potions lab safe against anything from the outside.  
Hermione entered her workplace and wondered. All cauldrons with the Dreamless Draught had been lit on big flames, but Tristius wasn't to be seen nowhere. Maybe he had to fetch anything from the stock? She stepped into the lab having a closer look. Immediately she saw the board where he had started to chop up the valerian. The herb was smelling immensely, giving the room a heavy earthy fragrant. Surrounding the table she froze. Somebody was lying on the floor. At an instant her heartbeat quickened and she hold her breath.  
It was him! Tristius laid on the ground, not moving and barely breathing. A little rinse of blood was seeping from his head, sticking in his hair and forming a little pool next to his forehead. Hermione rushed forward, kneeling next to him she grabbed his shoulders and pulled him over on his back.  
A scream escaped her throat.  
On his inner left forearm she could see a tattoo. An evil grinning skull and a snake winding its way out of the skull's mouth. He bore the Dark Mark! He was a death eater!  
Unbelievable and with her palms shielding her mouth in horror she tried frantically to calm down.  
How could she have been that mistaken regarding his person?  
A long and throaty moan escaped his lips and she focused again. He was injured and she had to decide what to do next. She vigorously shook her head to clean her thoughts.  
When in doubt for the accused! He had saved her life. Now it was her turn to help him.  
The wound on his head was still lightly bleeding, but it was not deep enough to be the reason for his unconsciousness. What had happened?  
Hermione took a closer look. His pulse was getting low and unsteady, his blood pressure was sinking. Examining him she found the little cut on his left ring finger. The valerian! He had told her once he was allergic!  
She jumped up, running into the stock. She knew they had to be somewhere! Oh damn his small handwriting on all that tiny boxes and cartons! There!  
Getting one of the small stone-like clumps out she dashed back, nearly overthrowing one of the cauldrons with the steaming hot Dreamless Sleep Draught inside. Reaching Tristius she held up his head, opened his mouth and shoved the bezoar down his throat.  
‚It has to work! An allergic reaction is like a poison. The body reacts nearly the same way. It must work!'  
Again she rushed up and got on of the Dittany vials. She healed the cut in his finger. Hopefully, the Dittany would also clean some of the left valerian traces, so that his body wouldn't have to fight it alone.  
„Mili!", she cried.  
The elf apparated immediately.  
„Bring your master to his bedroom!"  
Mili nodded, taking Tristius by his hand and with a light plop apparated him away. Hermione rushed again into the stock. Because she had relabelled some of the potions, she knew where to find the hypotension potion.  
She grabbed a vial calling the elf again. Just a minute later she stood in the bedroom of her boss.  
Giving him some of dark blue hypotension potion she hoped she hadn't come to late.  
She knew how to treat an anaphylactic shock, but it was absolutely necessary, that the treatment was as prompt as possible. Calculating that the blood on his finger and from his head hadn't been dried yet, she assumed he hadn't been laying there too long. But if it was still long enough she couldn't say. She sat on his bed next to him. Holding his hand she prayed silently, that he would recover soon. And when he recovered she'd demand some answers about that awful tattoo adorning his skin. 

Awakening Severus felt like he'd been for a visit in hell and they'd kicked him out again. His whole body was stiff and aching and his head felt like it had been exploded and put back together.  
He tried to move but found himself unable to. Trying to figure it out he opened his eyes and saw a curly head lying next to him.  
'What the fucking hell had happened?!'  
At an instant he was wide awake staring at his employee in sheer wonder. He tried to remember what had happened after they'd returned home. She had headed upstairs and he wanted to finish that damn Dreamless Draught. But it looked like he had been too much in a turmoil and had cut himself with that fucking knife. The valerian!  
The awareness that he could've been dead bloomed in him and he knew immediately whome he was owing a life debt. Obviously Hester had come to help him and had found him unconscious on the floor. Her reaction must have saved his life. And now she was lying next to him. Moving his arms he tried to sit up.  
Then he felt it. His sleeves! They were still rolled up! He looked at his left forearm and the light tattoo was nevertheless standing out clearly against his pale skin. His hands clenched into fists and his head slumped back into the pillow.  
She had seen it. There was no way she had helped him and overlooked it. She had seen it and she knew what he was. And still she had decided he was worth to be saved. And having a look over him she had fallen asleep in his bed.  
Life is a fucking unfair bitch!  
Never in his life he had hated himself and his life choices more than in that particular moment. Isn't it ironic, that the same mistake would ruin his hopes two times? Hadn't he atoned for his sins enough?  
Incapable of holding it back a silent tear was running down his face until it got caught in his dark black hair.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Some birds arguing heatedly the latest news outside the window woke Hermione up. At first she couldn't remember where she was because the room she had slept in was utterly unfamiliar to her. The grey walls and the black ceiling didn't ring a bell. She moved slightly until the memories of the last night rushed back into her consciousness like a flock of sparrows rushing into a hedge to find shelter.  
Tristius's room!  
She couldn't see him nowhere. Was he alright? Hopefully he just was awake and didn't want to disturb her. But what if he was wandering around and had collapsed again? Jumping out of bed she bolted to the door.  
Hearing steps in the lower floor her heartbeat adjusted a little more to a normal level. That weren't the steps of Mili.  
Carefully she headed down the stairs and found Tristius in the kitchen having a cup of tea and examining the latest edition of the wizardry newspaper. She could see he wasn't in the best mood but greeted him anyway.  
He turned his head and watched her observant. Hermione tried to smile, but couldn't quite get it right.  
„Do you feel alright?"  
She tried not to sound as if she was feeling pity for him. Carefully he folded his newspaper and stared blankly at her.  
„I think now we are even." He stated without any further explanation.  
Hermione waited but it was obvious he wasn't saying something further.  
„So, I guess you feel better?" She asked again.  
„Thank you. I feel ... well enough."  
Again there followed an awkward pause.  
All the courage she had felt yesterday must have left her during the night. She wanted to ask Tristius a thousand questions and wanted to tell him that it was a matter of course that she had helped him when she found him. And she also wanted answers about his past. But not a word left her lips.  
He was still observing her, his lips pressed together in a thin line, his jaw was working unable to relax and his stare seemed cold as ice. She nodded.  
„That's good. I'll be right in the potions lab to work in half an hour."  
And without waiting for a reply she turned and left the room, so that he couldn't see the tears welling up in her warm brown eyes.  
For the next half an hour he was incapable of reading a single article in that damn rag of a newspaper. Nothing caught his attention while he was browsing through the thin paper.  
It made no sense to dwell on dreams.  
‚Ha! That one could have been from old Dumbledore!', he thought with a grim snarl while getting up.  
If there had been hope before, it now was gone forever. By seeing his tattoo she knew his history and he could be happy if she'd stay as his employee. And he had learned his lesson.  
Locking his emotions away he started shuffling down into the blasted potions lab. While checking the cauldrons with the Dreamless Draught if there'd be anything he could still use, Hester entered the room and nodded in his direction.  
„Please dispose these leftovers and start a new batch of Dreamless Draught. I have to write a letter and apologise for the delay of the supply."  
She nodded and got down to work and he left the room. Outside he leaned his back against the door and sighed.  
‚Why to hell has it to be so difficult?!'  
With clenched fists he went to his small office and started writing a letter to the head of the potions department of the hospital.  
Attaching it to the stretched out leg of his big owl Nostradamus he hoped they wouldn't cancel their order. But to be honest he doubted highly that there was another supplier out there offering them such high quality potions. Maybe he could send in one phial for free. He scribbled a note about that and than started to clean and organise his desk. He had wanted to do this for a long time but now he just wanted to procrastinate and to prevent meeting Hester in the lab again.

They established their professional relationship again. After some weeks it felt nearly like it had before that death eater and anaphylactic shock situation.  
Summer had arrived and Hermione tried to keep anything together. There was still no help within sight for curing her magiclessness. She was working and her free time she spent in the library or reading outside in the garden. Between the greenhouse and an old high chestnut tree she had arranged herself a comfortable chair.  
It was a late afternoon at the end of July when she was enjoying the damp air and the sunlight seeping through the light haze warming her skin. It had rained all night and now the atmosphere was thick and heavy and embraced her with a clammy grip. Her work had finished half an hour ago and she wanted to relax between all the plants that were growing in the garden now.  
Even Crooks had lowered himself and had set food in the wet grass. With high lifted paws he was teetering through a green shimmering ocean of diamond like raindrops. Hermione smiled while observing the cat doing it's important cat business - sniffing here, checking there and every action carried out with an appearance of utmost significance.  
Finally he made his way over to her and took a seat next to her.  
Observing all the busy insects and bold birds his orange eyes glistened in the sunlight. And the tip of his tail was bobbing - the only sign of his inner tension.  
Just a second later Hermione winced terrified. A high and long screech echoed to her from the dark wood at the end of the property.  
‚What in Merlin's name has that been?' she wondered.  
But she didn't have a minute to think about it because just one gasp later Crookshanks had jumped off the chair and was dashing in direction of the forest.  
Numbed and shocked Hermione looked after her orange companion. Just seconds after his jumping up she could only make out a moving furry orange spot bolting and running through the higher grass in the back of the property. The heat had vaporised all the moisture in the meadow and the black trees and that mist was standing ominous in between the dismissive tree trunks. Another shudder rushed through her body when she heard the same shrieking scream again, a little bit longer and even more agitated than the first time.  
Her instincts assumed the control over her reaction. Hermione started to run. She paced through the knee high wet grass, feeling the water running down her legs and accumulating in her soft linen shoes, making squichy noises with every step. She already had lost Crook's trace and was just running in the same direction hoping to find him and to safe him from some foolish cat noisiness.  
Before stepping between the dark wooden realm she stopped and examined the area warily before her. She could barely see and nothing was to hear. No bird, no wind, no leaves rustling in the treetops.  
A third screech made her blood ran cold and in a flash the Gryffindor courage drove her forward. She had to find Crooks. Something in this forest was definitely hostile to life. And she didn't want it to find Crookshanks before her.  
She stepped between the trees and was just an instant later no longer to be seen, swallowed up by the dim twilight and the fog taking hold of her.

Severus had finally finished his work. Groaning he stretched his limbs, straightened his bowed back and then left the potions lab in the cold dark basement. He closed the door carefully and stepped up the stairs into the main corridor. In the dining room he called for Mili.  
„Can you prepare something light for dinner?"  
The house-elf nodded obediently and eyed him carefully with her big eyes. Severus startled. Usually the house-elf would disappear immediately to fulfil her duties.  
„Is there something more?", he asked the little creature curiously.  
„Mili just wants to know if mistress Hester will be back for dinner?"  
He wondered. Where could Hester be? She didn't tell him she wanted to go out. The last he saw from her when he had tea in the afternoon was her sitting on her favourite spot under the old chestnut tree.  
„Did she go out?"  
The elf nodded nervously. Something seemed to be wrong.  
„Mili, do you know where she has gone?"  
„Yes, master. Mili has seen her running away, master. Mili saw her running into the forest and mistress Hester hasn't come back yet."  
Nervously his servant was kneading her blue and white chequered kitchen towel in her small long-fingered hands. He could see her inner turmoil. His first rule while brewing was not to be disturbed. At least not with something unimportant.  
But of course this was more than relevant! It was life-endangering setting foot into that damn wood even when being capable of doing magic. However doing it without any magic to protect yourself was moronic suicidal.  
„No need for dinner. Keep yourself ready in case I need help with anything later," he shouted while storming out of the back door heading right into direction of the eerie forest.  
He had nearly reached the forbidding wall of black trees when he heard a shrill scream coming out of the dark depth behind the tree trunks.  
'By Salazar's beard!'  
Severus knew this sound exactly and, even worse, the creature making it. If this was really what he was fearing that it was, Hester could already be dead by now. And with his wand pulled out and ready he rushed into the nightmarish darkness, without wasting any thought on the ominous tattoo showing on his left forearm.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Hermione had lost Crookshank's trace already half an hour ago. At the beginning she could spot a bundle of orange fur here and there and followed it. But since some time she hadn't seen any trace he could have left behind. She didn't know where she was and where to go.  
Stopping she eyed forlornly into the the heaven and hoped to get a glimpse of the evening sun, showing her at least a direction where Everwinter Hall could be. But the squeaking and high treetops covered any view and shielded the sun safely away. Her instincts told her that it wouldn't be safe to call for her tomcat and she decided to look around for some more minutes.  
Detecting something like a deer path she followed it, ready to flee any instant. She had to fight the memories of her countless visits in the Forbidden Forest and of all the strange and perilous creatures living there. She was pretty sure, that this path hadn't come into being by some peaceful deer walking apollonianly through the woods. Everybody knew that Bambi's mother had been shot dead. There could no perfect idyl be found in this peculiar surrounding.  
After some time she heard a splashing which grew louder with every step she took forward. There had to be a river or a waterfall, making all this noise!  
Reaching the source of the water sound she almost forgot to breath.  
It was a lake. But what Hermione could see in that lake left her speechless. Never in her life had she thought she'd see such a beautiful and tremendous creature in real life.  
The next shrill shriek could be heard from it and she pressed her palms over her ears to protect them from this terrible sound.  
There was a landing stage going into the wide lake and next to it she could see it.  
Obviously it had gotten itself entangled in the rope which had been used to attach a small boat to the weathered dock. The boat was already in pieces because the creature was raging around and trying to free itself from the rope or net.  
It was a fully grown kelpie in its horse form. Taller than a usual horse it was deep black, shimmering with dark green reflexes. Its eyes were torn open and it had foam at its muzzle, shrieking in anger and fury. The long black mane looked like seaweed and was twirling around while the kelpie tried to get rid of all the rope which had wind itself around his neck, legs and hooves.  
Incurable Hermione gave in her first impulse to help the poor beast which couldn't get rid of the fishing equipment it had entangled in. All stories about drunk people she had read were forgotten at an instant. She rushed over to the dock, checking anything very quickly. She loosened the rope from the post where it was bound on. Then with a powerful hitch she pulled it from the kelpie's neck.  
The rope got loose and just the fishing net was still snarled around the rashly moving feet. The kelpie got a little more calm but was still moving around, splashing in the water still caught by the net. Its wide open eyes observed her panically while it tried to get away from her. But the net was holding it tight, not letting it bring a security distance between itself and the human.  
Hermione eyed it carefully then gripped the net and bent down on her knees. She just had to push it over the left front leg and the rest would follow. Trusting the troubled creature she bowed down and slackened the cords pulling them finally over one of the hooves.  
Partly free the fear and resentment broke out of the beast, making it nearly jump out of the troubled grey-green water. While shaking off the disturbing piece of a net it hit Hermione on her head before it vanished in the depth of the inscrutable waters.  
A last thought about the injustice of life crossed her mind before she fell to the ground and the welcoming darkness overtook her.

Dashing through the trees Severus tried to catch his breath. Carelessly running he didn't see the branch whipping his right cheek and leaving a burning sting where his skin broke on the rough contact.  
He didn't halt nor pause for breath.  
Severus was observant as he used to be before his memory loss. When hasting forward he was examining the ground observing it for the slightest trace of Hester's movements. A broken twig on a bush here and some footsteps in the wet grass there showed him where to turn to. And as he feared - they were leading in the direction of the lake.  
With clenched teeth he even gained more speed. He mustn't be too late! A tear of despair was running down his face while tearing through the undergrowth. It just couldn't be true. Just three minutes later he crushed through the last trees reaching the dark pond.  
The water was calm and a shattered boat was drifting in the dark green water. Light traces of fog were moving wraithlikely over the the water surface. But at an instant his eye caught a figure on the weathered grey wood of the landing stage. His blood ran cold. The person was lying motionless on the stage, short light brown curls spreaded around her head - it was Hester!  
He needed to help her, but just one rash decision could cost his or her life. So he took a deep breath and started to observe his surrounding in his typical analytical way. The murky waters were calm, no sign of a kelpie there. And with a last look at the banks of the mysterious lake he decided it was safe.  
He leaped forward in an instant and closed the big gap being still between him and Hester. Before looking after her he made sure that no creature was emerging from the waters again. He got down on his knees examining Hester's body. She was alive and breathing – ‚Thank Salazar!' And with a last view around him to secure the surrounding he took her in his arms and disapparated home with her.  
He could feel her small and fragile frame hanging loose in his arms and again an incredible fear of losing her took possession of him.  
„Mili!"  
The elf appeared with the characteristic plop and he ordered her to bring him some healing potions, a bowl of hot water, some towels and a strong tea. He apparated in his room and placed her fondly on his bed. Again he started surveying her body for traces of lesions from her last adventure. The most important one was a massive laceration on her forehead. The same moment Mili appeared with the potions and the hot water.  
„The tea is ready in some minutes, master. Can Mili helps you or mistress Hester somehow else?"  
He shook his head while searching through the numerous vials and glasses the elf had brought. Finding finally what he was looking for he caringly brushed the hair out of her face so that he could muster the wound with a closer look. After cleaning the dryed blood from her forehead he applied some potion to help her burst skin to heal from within.  
Then his slender fingers palpated her scalp to check for more injuries but he couldn't find anything divergent from normal. The few hairs on his forearms were standing up by the slight touch he had permited himself.  
But now wasn't the right time for this.  
Obviously there were no other injuries and he hoped, that Hester would recover soon. Pulling his dirty and sweaty pullover over his head he tossed it thoughtlessly into one corner of his dark room. With a flick of his wand he lit the chimney and the red and yellow flames were flickering and cracking between the cold stones.

Hermione awoke with a tremendous headache. Looking around she couldn't focus her surrounding. A dull ache was tormenting her head and groaning her hand drove to the still swollen part of her forehead.  
Her view sharpened and she recognised the room she was in as Tristius's room. Next to her bed he was sitting in a comfortable chair, his head was bent back to the backrest and he was sleeping.  
Carefully to not stress her head more than necessary she sat up and watched him. His face looked so peacefully when asleep. The hunted expression and the sorrow mirroring in his eyes and the thin pinned lips were gone. He still looked weary but nevertheless she assumed him quite handsome for his age.  
Shocked by her own thought her eyes opened wide when he awoke. His first glance strayed in her direction and relief showed on his face.  
He closed the short distance between them and sat himself next to her on the bed. His strong hands took hers carefully and he whispered the question more than to pronounce it aloud.  
„How are you this morning?"  
Hermione smiled at him.  
„Still a big headache, but thanks to you, nothing more serious," and while looking him in his dark brown eyes she lifted his hand, holding it to her lips and brushed it slightly.  
Sharply and with wide opened eyes he stared unbelievingly at his hand and then in her eyes. Hermione whispered. „That's the second time you saved me from certain death and I'll be eternally thankful for that."  
He watched her as if the strike her head had suffered had more negative impact than he had feared first.  
„Do you want something to drink or eat?"  
Just at this moment she realised how hungry she was. It was already morning and she had slept the whole evening and night.  
Tristius was so kind to order a brunch and Mili called them down just half an hour later.  
They had spent that time still sitting in his bed but not a word had been spoken in that time. Hermione had refused to let Tristius's hand go and he hadn't argued against that or tried to pull away from her touch. The warmth of his hand was seeking into her skin and creeping up her arm.  
And against her usual manner she tried not to think over what was happening just right at the moment. And to be honest – her head was spinning and she could guess that that wasn't an impact of a kelpie's kick.  
The brunch they shared together passed in silence and Hermione couldn't look him in the eye. She was unsure about his feelings and her own, for she had already misinterpreted them once. Again she felt like she was jeopardizing with their more or less intact professional relationship. But the tingling in her belly told her that the relationship was already more than an ordinary relationship between colleagues – at least viewed from her side.  
Though with his offish manner she couldn't quite interpret his behaviour. After the meal Tristius accompanied Hermione back to her room. She felt really exhausted and he had affirmed her consideration to get a little bit more rest. Standing in front of the dark wooden door of her room Hermione boldly raised her head to watch him in his enigmatic brown eyes. The distance between them was so small that she nearly could feel the heat radiating from his body. It made her feel the urgent want to lean forward and rest herself against his firm figure. He'd run his gentle hands down her back and...  
„Are you alright? Your view seems vitreous," he looked at her and Hermione realised what exactly she'd been dreaming about. And without her really recognising it he raised his right hand and his right palm cupped her cheek.  
„Whenever you need something, just sent Mili to me. I'll take care of the potions production today."  
And without waiting for her response he turned on his heels and with straight back headed down the corridor and down the stairs – leaving an absolutely confused Hermione behind. 

Rushing down the stairs he fought the urge to turn back to her. His hand was pulsing from the touch of the rosy skin of her delicate cheek. She had blushed at his touch and he had seen her pupils enlarging but she hadn't withdrawn herself from his hand. Reaching the potions lab he paused and looked down on his palms.  
She didn't even knew his real face. So what was he actually expecting from her? However he felt attracted by her. She was so affirmative and enlightening and she made him feel so light and believing. And entering the lab he decided he at least would give it a try. It wasn't that he had something to lose hadn't he?!  
„Mili," he demanded tranquilly and the elf apparated immediately in front of him.  
„I need you to check on Hester from time to time, okay? Make sure she's fine. And whenever something is strange inform me at once!"  
Bowing deeply the servant nodded and disapparated away.  
And now Severus tried to focus on his actual project. He had tried at least 31 ingredients in his new potion to stabilise the effect of the psychological healing but nothing has worked so far. Scribbling down some notes in a used notepad he fetched some snake skin and magnolia oil to start the next round of trying.  
It was 2 p.m. when Mili plopped into his final observations and his mind sprang to Hester at an instant.  
„Master, Mili thinks mistress Hester isn't fine. She's not answering from her room and Mili can hears her cry, master."  
Severus apparated upstairs to save time and he could hear Hester's voice from within her room. It sounded like she was crying and babbling something incomprehensible, but she didn't reacted on his knocking. Opening the door he saw her lying in her bed and throwing herself from one side to the other. Her face and chest was glistening with sweat and she was moaning from a nightmare that didn't let her awake.  
Fast he came near her sitting next to her and digging his fingers into her damp locks.  
„Shh... anything will be fine. Don't worry," he spoke under his breath and she started to calm down.  
Not breaking the contact to her he sat down circumspectly next to her and she immediately searched his proximity. Her hands grabbed his leg and her forehead rested on his thighs. It almost took his breath and he could feel a treacherous feeling growing in his loins. He closed his eyes and attempted to focus.  
‚Just don't let go! If she wakes up with you having a boner right in front of her nose, it will ruin everything!' he tried to advise himself.  
The time was moving and he eventually relaxed under her touch. Her peaceful aura had enfolded him and just some minutes later he slackened his vigilance, crumbling together next to her body and closing his eyes.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

In the evening Hermione woke up feeling safe but also a little bit strange. She remembered some strange nightmares of glistening red and yellow pairs of eyes haunting her through a demonic forest. But finally the nightmares had vanished and she had gotten the rest she had needed so desperately.  
Trying to move she registered she wasn't alone. A strong arm was wrapped around her and somebody was lying next to her in her bed. She perfectly knew the scent of earth and peppermint surrounding her – Tristius! While moving she heard him breath regularly. How had he come to her bed? Had there been something wrong? She faced him and inspected his pale face.  
Shouldn't she be more afraid founding him suddenly in her bed? But instead of precaution she just felt ease and warmth. It felt oddly familiar having him here with her and touching his soft skin made her shudder. A prickling was spreading through her body and gathering between her thighs. At an instant the memory of his hand touching her cheek and his look at her made her feel hot and the want to touch him arose.  
This time she would be braver! Hermione knew she was the smartest witch of her age – but that was just true for spells and other knowledge. Concerning emotions and sentiments she felt as daft as a peeled potato.  
Albeit she was dead certain she had seen care and affection in his eyes when he had bid goodbye before she had went to sleep. Her hand reached up and tenderly her fingers met his cheek and the short beard he was growing and which let him look a little keen.  
Immediately his eyes shot open and he looked at her – just awe and bewilderment in his view. None of them spoke a word – it felt like the magic between them could break by the slightest of sounds. But finally his fear took him over and he said,  
„I'm so sorry. You must have been terrified waking up like this," gesturing at himself.  
But still feeling Godric's courage in her heart she shook her head slightly and she grabbed his still nervously waving hand.  
„Actually – it felt more calming than troubling."  
She smiled and hopefully he would believe her. At least he didn't try to pull his hand from her touch. Unbelieving he stared at her and finally he propped himself up, resting on his left elbow and looking down to her. Somehow his appearance changed, became darker and more vigorous. His intense presence swamped over her and Hermione found her mouth dry of nervousness. Again his hand was reaching out for her face, brushing a curly strand of hair out of her forehead and she unconsciously hold her breath by the desired touch. Opening them she could see him lowering his face, observing her to check if there was the slightest sign of revulsion or fright but the only feeling being seen in her face was longing.  
The next moment she closed her eyes and just a split second later she felt his warm lips on hers. Actually she swapped her whole being from thinking to just sensing. The heat from his lips was just the beginning after which came the breath from his nose she could feel on her face. She lost herself in that sensations that were so strange and new, yet absolutely pleasant. Getting herself together she moved her lips and answered his kiss, moving herself closer to him to increase the contact between them. They didn't let go not even for breathing and when Hermione could feel his weight a little bit more on her an unintentional moan escaped her partially divided lips.

The moment Severus heard the moan from her mouth he knew that this woman would drive him totally mad. Nearly losing all of his containment he laid down on her with even more of his weight and still his right hand was tangled in her beautiful tousled hair. Parting his lips his tongue started exploring the hot skin of her lips. He dared not to hope for something in return but Hester opened her lips and granted his tongue entrance. He forfeited every sense of time, just experiencing her wet mouth and her eagerness to meet him and join him in his primordial cravings.  
At once he felt her hands holding his face and her dainty fingers were burying in his hair. Her caressing gave him chills down his spine and there was no way to hide his erection furthermore. Self-acting his midst pressed against her, relishing the compression on his already stiff member. He stopped kissing her and dared not to look in her beautiful eyes. His forehead rested against hers while he tried to calm down his pounding heart and his heavy pants. Thankfully he registered she wasn't asking or moving at all. So they were just absorbing the happenings of the last minutes, each of them dwelling on their own thoughts about the latest events.  
„Would you like something for dinner?" he asked still not looking at her, his voice sounding hoarse even in his own ears.  
And again Severus felt her affectionate lips on his before she answered, „I'd love to."  
After summoning Mili to inform her about their dinner plans he got up and tried not to flee from Hester's room. He felt so awkward and blindsided, nearly as she had been the one doing all that to him. Looking out of the window he saw the edge of the damned forest in the last twilight of the day as a pair of warm arms surrounded his waist from behind. His breathing stopped when he felt her head resting on his back and he didn't have the guts to turn around and face her.  
„I better dress myself for dinner," she reminded him and the ardour from minutes ago rushed back into his mind when he imagined her getting totally naked.  
„I'll meet you in the dining room in half an hour if that's convenient for you?" ,she asked.  
He cleared his throat not trusting his ability to pronounce anything grammatical correct.  
„Alright." ‚Great – at least he could still produce correct one word sentences.'  
She let go of him and without having another look he left the room and had a hard time trying not to stumble with his buckling knees.  
‚By Salazars pants – what had he just gotten himself into?'

Just when he had left her room Hermione was able to breath normally again. She rushed into her bathroom and turned on the hot water in the shower. Her hands were still burning and her swollen lips could still feel his heat and hunger. Just the thought of it made her almost moan. Standing under the hot water she was trying to process what had happened to her.  
After living and working together for nearly half a year she already had a fairly clear idea of his character. And what she knew exactly was that he couldn't be allowed to think it through. His personality was so restrained and sealed that he would never allow himself to lose control as it was needed.  
He certainly was able to feel lust as she had learned minutes ago, but if in doubt he'd always choose the safe way – and that would be the way where he wouldn't do anything at all. It became clear to Hermione that if she wanted something to happen it had to be initiated by her. Otherwise she could bury this relationship already now – before it had even begun. And after that phenomenal kiss it just was no option for her.  
So she finished her shower without releasing herself on her hot craving needs – as a warning that if she'd fail, there'd be no salvation at all. Dried and naked she stood in front of her wardrobe, enjoying the air on her uncovered body. Her locks were still damp and she felt absolutely sexy. What would she wear? There were just 10 minutes left to choose the right outfit to support her plan for this evening. But it mustn't give away her intentions.  
She decided for a loose fitting blue shorts and a plain black panty underneath. Her upper body she attired in a tight tank top in a friendly green. Grinning she observed herself in the tall mirror in the bathroom. Not wearing a bra she could see her bosom nicely in the strait clothing and her long legs showed off perfectly in the dark shorts. That would do.  
As she assessed Tristius she was rather sure he wouldn't need some fancy negligee or something similar to get turned on. He was like her a creature of intellect, slave of his mind and bond to his thoughts. It was more important to make him think about her than to make him see.  
Confidently about her plan she stepped down the stairs and entered the dining room just two minutes after the time. Thankfully it was warm in the house for she shivered just watching Tristius sitting there and eying her appalled. With a certain satisfaction she could literally feel his views on her body while she was behaving as usual as possible. Smiling at him she sat down in her chair and the food appeared in front of them. While eating Hermione engaged him in a conversation about his new potion project. She knew that he felt safe on that topic and she was interested how his latest attempts have come out. So they chattered and ate and the atmosphere between them relaxed distinctly. She invited him to the library afterwards for tea and some reading because she knew that actually the library was the only room next to the lab where he felt most at home and eased.  
As Tristius had taken his seat in the armchair opposite of the sofa Hermione settled down there with a book, her legs curled up on the sofa. Although he was pretending to read she could feel his glances at her now and then and with every second she got more nervous.  
‚What if she'd mess up all?!'

He was still positive that he somehow could manage the rest of this evening without losing the control over his demeanour again. Severus shuddered when thinking of their snogging earlier this evening and instantaneously had to rearrange his sitting position. Good - obviously she hadn't caught him while thinking of her and their hot kisses, because the effect of that thinking was already showing quite obvious in his lap.  
Hester rose and walked over to one of the numerous bookshelves and was scanning the books for another one worth reading. She presented him her back and her delicate shoulders and he admired every inch of her beautiful legs while she was bobbing up and down on her toes, following the line of the books with her fingers.  
She was so naive about her charisma which made her even more tempting and alluring. She grabbed one of the books and started flicking through the yellowed pages but seemingly it wasn't what she was looking for. Again she searched and found one standing on the higher shelf. Stretching her whole body she tried to reach it, but her fingertips where just touching the cover but couldn't grasp the whole book. He could marvel at her body without her recognising it and he already felt his resistance fading away.  
Who was he to deny that beautiful woman whatever she wanted? Even if it was something so preposterous like him.  
Elegantly glancing at him over her shoulder she smiled.  
„Would you just help me, please?" she beamed at him.  
Severus nodded and carefully put the book he was pretending to read aside. His long strides led him to her and he grabbed the book she wanted to read. When receiving the book from his hands she brushed his fingers and her touch shot like electricity up his arm. He stood rigid, waiting for what happened next and eying her observantly. And before his brain could process the next events, she had risen to her toes and had placed him an affectionate kiss on his lips.  
„Thank you so much," she had leaned forward, one hand on his chest and had whispered at him without her eyes leaving his.  
That was literally the last straw that broke his, the camel's, back. Instead of his logical mind, his body and his primal needs had taken control over him and in that specific moment he just didn't mind. His lips burnt and his heart raced and it all would led to his ruin, that he was sure about.  
Pulling her at him he captured her lips again, longer and more passionate than before. One of his hands was holding her head in place and the other was looped around her tiny waist and pressing her belly at his evident erection. It felt like she had waited just for his signal.  
She opened her lips and her tongue was tasting his lips which he parted willingly for her. A moan escaped her lips when she entered his mouth and felt his own eager tongue. She even pressed his back against the bookshelf, holding him in place and didn't let him move an inch away. Her hands were both fondling in his hair, her nails lightly scratching over his scalp which made him quiver with anticipation. Still playing with her tongue, savouring every moment of the still ongoing kiss his hands wandered down and enveloped her bottom.  
Again she had risen to her toes to come nearer to him and the hot kiss they shared and he just lifted her up and she hang at him, her legs winding around his waist and her hot centre pressing against his twitching penis. Feeling his cock made her groan with anticipation and Severus thought he could come directly just because of that divine sound. Being so responsive he nearly couldn't wait to lay her down. And fast he carried her over to the sofa. One hand of his let go of her and grabbed the wand from the small table and without a disruption of their kiss he waved his wand and transformed the sofa into a comfortable full-size bed. Cautiously he laid her down crouching over her. He paused the kiss, looked at her and tried to memorise everything of her. Her rosy cheeks, her heaving breasts, her lips swollen and red and her eyes glowing dark with lust.  
Should he say something? Ask her for permission? Could it be that he had misinterpreted something?  
Hester rested herself on her elbows, propping up her upper body and coming nearer with her face to his.  
And she sternly told him, „Stop thinking!"

Hermione knew it was a crucial point. He doubted himself and his feelings and especially he was worried and unsure concerning her feelings for him. She had to help him see it clear and without fear. So she rose and endearingly pushed him aside. Wondering he laid flat on his back, his upper back and head resting on the cuddly pillows he had charmed earlier. Then Hermione climbed onto him and bent down so that she was face to face with him.  
„Close your eyes," she said caressing but still demanding.  
They exchanged a passionate kiss and when Hermione interrupted the kiss she reminded him again to keep his eyes shut. Then she started kissing his chin which was covered with his short beard. After that she started to caress his neck until she reached the neckline of his thin longsleeve.  
She sat down in his lap and she knew he would notice that she was already soaking wet. Gently she placed herself on his totally aroused member closing her eyes when the feeling of need overcame her. She could hear his sharp inhale, nonetheless she trusted him to keep his eyes shut.  
Taking his right hand she placed a soft kiss into his palm and started kissing up until she reached the edge of his sleeve at his wrist. Pushing the thin fabric further up she continued her kissing until she had reached the crook of his arm. On Tristius's forehead Hermione could see a thin coating of sweat and his breathing was already heavy and deep. Placing her hands firmly on his chest she bent down to kiss him once more on his partially opened mouth. The rubbing at his loins he commented with a deep growl that made her pant in anticipation. But again she stopped the kisses on his lips and sat again determined down at his lap. And now she started playing with his left hand. Kissing his palm she was then following his fingers with her tongue, until she decided to suck gently on his index finger.  
Now he let fall all his reservation and groaned and his hips bucked up against her damp centre. Hermione moaned still his finger between her wet lips. After that she also pushed that sleeve up and he tried to pull back his arm.  
He knew exactly what she was looking at. She could see his clenched teeth and the tensed jaws.  
Even months after the defeat of Lord Voldemort the Dark Mark was still visible and it would stay there as a warning for anyone who doubted his abhorrent former political affiliation. And he just didn't want her to think about his past, but Hermione stayed firm and didn't let go of his hand. When she felt his resistance fading she started to cover his forearm with kisses as she had done with the right one before. Just an instant she hesitated when reaching that sinister tattoo but then surer than ever placed a kiss on the snake and another one on the grim looking skull before she trailed farther up until she reached the crook of his left arm. Looking up she saw a tear rolling down his cheek and she hoped he could trust her now.


	9. Chapter 9

Author's note: You persevered until now? Then you earned this! Enjoy! ^_^

**Chapter 9**

Severus was laying blind at the bed and felt like he'd been shattered and recomposed back together. The skin on his left arm tingled and he could swear he felt the Dark Mark burn hotter than ever. He adored that woman who showed him her affection albeit she didn't know nothing about his past and, even more important, who trusted him although she could see he had been a member of the most despicable organisation of the last centuries.  
He felt her heat creeping through his trousers, urging him to look at her but she hadn't given him her permission yet. His other senses sharpened when he couldn't see and finally he felt her moving down. She plucked on the bottom end of his pullover, shoving it up until he could feel her breath hot and cold at the same time on his sensitive skin just about the beginning of his trousers. He couldn't help but twitch when she placed a kiss on his abdomen using the soft wet and hot inner parts of her lips. He raised his hips and hoped she knew that it was her causing this reaction and not his own will.  
„Tristius?" He opened his eyes and looked at her.  
„May I doff your shirt?"  
He hesitated for he knew exactly what she would see but he also knew he'd kick himself for letting this chance go by, so he nodded finally.  
He closed his eyes when he felt her slender hands trailing up his chest and pushing his longsleeve over his head. And then he heard it - her sharp inhale because she could see them.  
All the scars he hadn't hid with magic.  
Many of them were already pale because his father had given them to him long time ago. Even now you could tell by their shape and size if they originated from his fists, a broken bottle or the belt, he loved to use on his defenseless son. But many more he had earned in that two devastating wars he had fought in. They crisscrossed his chest, his upper arms and his abdomen, constructing a map of his miserable and bungled life. Actually he was glad she couldn't see his back right now.  
Afraid of her reaction he just watched her and waited how she'd decide to continue or not.  
But she fell down on him, kissed him passionately and pressed her body against his marked skin and at an instant all the memories what he had suffered his whole life were gone.  
Severus could feel her breasts and her hard nipples on his chest and his hands were moving alone. He shoved them under her tight shirt and started caressing her smooth back. She reacted immediately on his touch, raised her upper body and closed his eyes. Just moaning she bent her back and stuck out her bosom in his direction.  
Curious Severus pulled his hands out of her shirt and laid them on the elastic fabric which was embracing her curves perfectly. He could see any curve and her nipples were standing out, eager to be touched and teased by him.  
His hands were trailing up her front and she had her eyes closed and her lower lip sucked in between her white teeth. And when his fingers reached the two perky dots she broke into a sigh and her hip was rolling forward, rubbing over his quite sensitive cock. He teased them both at the same time before his fingers locked into the suspenders of her top. Pulling them carefully down he observed her and her look had changed from that naive girl to a sensual woman who knew exactly how she was effecting the men in her surrounding. It was more than hot and he felt his mouth watering, like a dog being shown a delicious piece of roast meat.

She didn't look away while Tristius was stripping down her top over her shoulders and finally over her breasts which were already sensitive. A groan build up in Hermione's throat when the sturdier hemline was finally rubbing over her hardened nipples and again her breast bent forward in his direction. He sat up and started kissing and indulging her breasts and her nipples. She enjoyed every moment of it and admired that he really took his time.  
When she couldn't stand it any longer she crumbled down on him, panting heavily and relishing the touch of her chest on his. His fingers were trailing some invisible traces on her head and her back and she smiled feeling his heart pound steadily under hers.  
Then his strong hands grasped her shoulder and rolled her on her back. He kneeled above her, carefully not to hurt her and hooked up his fingers into the upper cuff of her shorts.  
„May I?" he asked huskily and Hermione nodded.  
She'd never had a problem with her body or her figure and seeing this powerful wizard eying her admiringly she felt almost like a seductive siren from the ancient myths, sexy and self-conscious.  
After throwing her shorts down on the floor his fingers were gliding down her belly until he reached her navel. A hot kiss placed there was the beginning of an even hotter trail he was following down. When he had reached her trimmed pubic hair his right index finger began drawing invisible patterns on that sensitive part of her body. Hermione felt the need of his touch building up in her lower abdomen and she guessed that he had already seen how wet and ready she was for him.  
But still slowly he examined her, his finger sliding down inch per inch until he dipped it carefully into her folds. Hermione gasped and groaned and her lower back arose from the soft mattress she was lying on. Her legs spread apart and made it easier for him to reach her most sensitive spots.  
Opening her eyes she looked down and saw him smile, while his finger was still encircling her slippery entrance. Again her hips lifted slightly and he caught the hint. Slowly, torturous slowly, his index finger claimed her his. Hermione's hands were clenched in fists and a thin layer of sweat was already covering her whole body. And finally Tristius started to move his hands a little faster. He pulled from her just to push into her again and nearly made her scream.  
Hermione could feel an orgasm building in her lower abdomen and she tried to meet the strokes of his hand but immediately he slowed down and finally stopped moving at all.  
„Don't worry," he breathed aroused in her ear.  
„There's still time," and with that he captured her lips with his again and Hermione forgot that she had wanted to come just seconds before.

Severus wanted to show her what he was capable of. He couldn't be sure that she would grant him a second night like this and he just made sure she wouldn't forget him too soon. And he tried to leave her a nonverbal promise of what would be possible if she stayed with him.  
So his tongue darted out tasting the heat of her mouth and her tongue was answering and playing with him. Then suddenly he felt her hand cupping his swollen cock, pressing and slightly rubbing him. He grinned and looking at her he saw a mischievous smile in her beautiful face.  
Severus couldn't blame her, for his boner was as impatient like her. If destiny had been quite unjust in distributing the good looks he had been lucky receiving at least a member on the bigger end of the average. That was actually the only part of his body he wasn't reluctant to show. He rose, still kneeling on the bed and opened his trousers. It was an ease to free the stiffened body part that was already aching with lust.  
Honestly Severus couldn't remember the last time he had had sex. Or to be more precise sex with not a prostitute or an imperiused slave from the Dark Lord. His horrid memories were taking him away until he winced by a sudden touch on his cock.  
Hester had recognised his mental absence and had caught him right away before he was able to drift that road farther down. She was moving her fingers around his swollen member and her touch of its sensitive head made him groan with pleasure. That hadn't been his plan but regardless it felt marvellous. Bending down his head he kissed her while she didn't stop cosseting his lower regions with her skilled hands.  
‚No!' She had to stop! Otherwise he would come right away and he wanted to relish a little bit more than that.  
He moved away so she couldn't reach him and grasped his wand once more. Casting a spoken contraceptive spell he put the wand aside again and after that firmly took her hands and putting them aside while he lowered his body.  
She was voluntarily spreading her legs for him which made him feel more desired and powerful than ever.  
Placing his throbbing cock between her thighs made him sense her temperature and her longing.  
A last time Severus looked her directly in her hazel eyes to check if she had changed her mind but the only thing showing on her blushed face was passion and zeal.  
And so he pushed forward unable to stop the hissing breath he caught in between his clenched teeth.  
Although she was so willingly wet and relaxed she was damn tight and grasped his member directly. She wiggled a little bit with her hips and met him with his thrust. And Severus nearly couldn't breath. His senses overwhelmed him with lust and need and the only thing present in his mind was that beautiful woman which was laying under him and offering him the greatest pleasure in herself.  
He pulled back just to thrust again a little harder this time and she paid him back with a deep moan from her red lips. Bending down he kissed her again and again, biting and nibbling on that tasty lips, and he didn't stop pushing into her. Hester freed her hands and tangled her fingers into his hair, neatly pulling on the black strands to bring him even closer to her. When he felt her coming nearer he started rolling his hips a little further up to brush her clitoris a little more. Her answer came quick and unambiguously, for she clawed her fingernails in his back and shoulders, stabilising herself to bring her lower body in an even better position.  
And just a moment later he heard and felt her come. Her sex clenched around him gripping him tighter than ever before and her hands where holding his back firmly. Her mouth stood open to catch some air and her beautiful breasts and nipples were covered with perspiration so they glistened in the heaving movements she made. That had been his sign and Severus came, heavy and without reluctance. He pumped the last waves into her, panting and holding himself barely upwards. Relaxing and agitating at the same time he tried to make the most out of that orgasm they had shared.  
Then, her soft hands cupped his cheeks and he looked her in her beautiful eyes and saw them shining and glistening with affection towards him...

Hermione pulled him next to her and pressed her lips firmly on his. He had been so compassionate and gentle and still it hadn't been too slow and romantic. She sucked at his lower lip, played with him and let her tongue dart out and enter his hot mouth.  
Finally she whispered, „That was marvellous!"  
Tristius had his eyes still closed and wasn't responding but she saw his mouth twitch and show a little smile.  
She crawled onto him and sat on his lap again so that he had to open his eyes and looked at her quizzically.  
„I sincerely hope we'll repeat that someday," she smugly grinned at him.  
He propped up, resting on his elbows and not thinking about the numerous scars showing on his athletic chest.  
„As long as you want me I'm gladly at service," he smirked and bowed his head to mimic the curtsy of a loyal servant.  
Hermione laughed aloud and broke together upon him and he catched her and pressed her onto his chest and placed a sweet kiss onto her curly head and she wished dearly he'd never let her go again.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Severus woke up, dizzy and a little bit stiff, not really able to move. Just a moment later a person moving next to him vaulted the memories of the last evening back to his mind.  
Hester was snuggled into his side, one arm placed on his stomach and her head onto his chest and he knew he hadn't moved all night. His arm was holding her in place, his palm laying on her hip.  
For the first time since a whole day he took his time to think.  
It was crucial to clarify what exactly had happened because he still couldn't follow the development of events. How in Salazar's name was it possible that he had ended up with that stunning young witch in his bed... er ... library? He just couldn't reconstruct the occurrences.  
He even took into consideration that the stroke on her head must have been more severe than he first had thought. But she had been so distinct and honest in all her demeanour last night that he rejected believing this idea any longer. Maybe she just felt unsafe and had considered that with him by her side she'd be safer? At least as long as some insane death eaters or other strange creatures were after her? That was leastwise correct and he wondered if it could be true enough to fake her behaviour in such an odd manner. Severus turned that concept in his mind to and fro and decided he had not enough evidence to either approve or discard it.  
The idea of her being a spy to find and somehow influence him flickered up in his brain but was gone the next instant. He had never in his life met somebody that untainted. Well, yes he had. But Lily has long been gone and she had never felt more than friendship for him, that he was sure about by this time. But this woman breathing hot against his bare scarred skin felt absolutely safe with him although she knew the worst part of his former life. For Salazar's sake she had even kissed the Dark Mark!  
A nasty sneer was showing on Severus's narrow lips, imagining the fucking Dark Lord would have seen this from his not existing grave. Pretty sure he'd die again - maybe even more painfully this time.  
Once more he eyed her poignantly and marvelled about her peacefulness. It also crept into his mind that she had helped him to let go all of his dismal memories. They had been so connected that she had caught him when he was falling into those depressing thoughts. How actually could they be so connected he wondered? They knew each other for barely half a year and she directly realised the danger of him thinking about the wrong stuff. And even better she had found the perfect way of getting him out of that tenebrous hole.  
A small light was initiated in his twisted mind and he eyed it suspiciously. The tiny spark grew with each second until Severus could grasp his meaning. Perhaps - the last idea his already mad mind could produce - perhaps she felt more for him. Just perhaps she liked him, or even worse and awkward, loved him. He stared at this absurd idea, surprised where this thing came from anyway.  
The concept of love had been a mystery for him. All he knew was that it had been an absolutely one-sided miserable experience for him. The only thing he had gathered from love was pain and torture and the hopeless certainty that he had made too many wrong decisions in his life, qualifying him as a person absolutely incapable of real love and of ever being loved truly in return.  
But as Sherlock Holmes had stated long ago - if you eliminated the impossible, whatever remains must be the truth. Of course every wizard in Britain knew that Sherlock Holmes, or to be more precise the person who had acted as a model for the fictional character, had been a really powerful legilimens. Admitted he had been pretty intelligent either but reading in the minds of the possible suspects had made it definitely easier to convict them of murder.  
A new idea formed in his mind. He was a really capable legilimens himself too and he was competent enough to sneak into someone's mind without them noticing it. It would be the simplest for him to lurk into her thoughts and to make sure he knew her real wishes and feelings. He shivered at this idea and his teeth gritted. Of course the only way he could handle the uncertainty was to cheat on the only person who had proofed him he was - even if just a little bit - loveable.  
And with a last look on her relaxed and beautiful face resting on his marked chest he swore to himself he'd never betray her or give her a reason to mistrust him. Grimly trying to build a feeling of honour, it hit him unprepared into the pit of his stomach. He was actually hiding his name and his true face from her. She maybe liked him - but it was not Severus Snape she was affected by. It was Tristius Anguis, his alter ego, who was looking better than him and wasn't as discredited like he was.  
To be brutally honest, she liked a nonexistent idiot based on a broken existing one!  
A frantic groan escaped his lips and Hester moved, aroused by the sudden sound.

Hermione awoke from a desperate sigh that had escaped Tristius's lips. She scratched his chest with her fingernails and he looked down to her. His face was a mixture of lots of emotions she couldn't grasp at the moment and she was worried he'd dive into them losing himself again and shutting his emotions away.  
She robbed a little bit up to face him even better and murmured softly, „I actually thought you had to be quite...satisfied today?" She grinned while she started kissing his cheek and his neck and taunted him with her tongue and he didn't argue but closed his eyes and left himself to her and her will.  
When Hermione felt that he was relaxed - or just not relaxed anymore - she got back, facing him an smiling.  
„Anything okay?"  
Hermione studied his face to check if he showed the slightest of signs that he felt uncomfortable with her or had any other problems. But Tristius raised his head and gave her a reassuring kiss which made her feel that treacherous feeling in her stomach again which with every movement of his competent lips crept further down and gathered hot and wet between her thighs.  
"No way!" she said out loud.  
He startled.  
„There's a lot of work to do! You already lost 2 days of work because of me and we have to keep our schedule!"  
And determined she sprang up walking over to her bathroom.  
Standing in the door she looked back over her shoulder. Tristius was still lying in bed and watched her hungrily with eyes even darker than usually. Nearly fully black his mysterious orbs examined her naked body from top to bottom.  
„If you're not otherwise occupied I'd love to invite you for a shower!"  
Grinning and without waiting for a reply Hermione vanished with a tempting swing of her hip into the bathroom. Only a moment later he entered her bathroom and came towards her like a predator creeping up on its prey which had no more chance to escape. Hermione felt a pull in herself. That pull was dragging her in his direction and all she wanted was coming ashore in his strong arms and at his fiery lips.  
Then he stood before her. He was tall, more than a head higher than her and glanced down with his dark brown eyes. And Godric knew it, she was already addicted to his intense stare and his terrific presence...

While working alone in his laboratory Severus reflected the last weeks they had spent together. Together as partners in business, their brewing was perfectly geared to each other. They complemented each other and he admired Hester's urge for knowledge and her capability to cope even with his sometimes harsh personality. She was able to get him over the darker days and encouraged him to change his point of view even when he was stuck within his entrenched habits.  
And they had developed a thrilling relationship on a personal basis. He was delighted by her wits and he loved how she challenged him on an intellectual basis. He just couldn't stand dumb blockheads and dimwitted morons. Her thinking was so flexible, fast and creative that he loved to talk to her and discuss heatedly any question and problem occurring at their work.  
The physical level of course was the more agitative part. She had helped him to develop more confidence in his appearance and his feelings. Severus also had changed his opinion of feelings in general. Compared to his former life he felt now strengthened because he had Hester at his side. That was right the contrary of his former beliefs of getting weak if being dedicated to emotions. The certainty of having her there to catch him, helped him generating a more positive view of life which was actually something he needed urgently without even recognising it.  
Even more thrilling was her story about her losing her magic. He'd never heard something of that spell before or even that it was possible to influence this wide range of time and space. But even after researching together through many books and writing to some of his closest colleagues they couldn't ascertain why her magical abilities were gone.  
On the more ordinary days she was quite able to manage her incredible loss.  
But there also were days when Hester was dashed to the ground. Once Severus entered the library and found her crying on the sofa, her head in her palms and sobbing hopelessly about never being able to do magic ever again. He had crumbled down in front of her, not able to bear her suffering look and had taken her head in his hands. Looking her directly into her swollen reddened eyes he had sworn her they would find a way to retriever her magic. And she had nodded and thrown herself into his arms, tears still seeping quietly from her eyes.  
And so the weeks had passed by. A mixture of bliss and dejection, but it had kept him over all in a content state he had never dared hope to attain.

Hermione looked up and examined her view in the mirror. Tristius had already gone ahead to make Mili prepare the breakfast while she was still lingering in the bathroom and thinking about the last weeks. She couldn't believe they were really – yes, what exactly were they? A couple? Lovers? Colleagues with benefits?  
Wondering if there was a label for their relationship she was examining her hair which had grown quite a bit since she had arrived at Everwinter Hall. Although Hermione was usually very determined about knowing what exactly the status of anything in her surrounding was she found herself quite relaxed referred to her relationship with Tristius. She knew she could trust him every moment of the day.  
They had never spoken about his time being a death eater but he had assured her he had left them still in the first Wizarding War. They never had found a way to eliminate the dire tattoos so he had to live with it as a reminder of the severe years of his life. And she just let it be with him because Hermione knew there was no beneficing in pressing him telling her more. She trusted him to open up when the time was right.  
She dried her wet locks and went back to her room and browsed through the wardrobe to decide for an outfit. They had a lot to do in the laboratory, so she needed something warmer. Since the end of September the temperatures had dropped and the air in the basement was really crisp although it was just the beginning of October. A shudder went down her still undressed spine when thinking of the lab in January. So a jeans and a longsleeve with a filigree leafy pattern should do for today and after dressing she just had to tame her locks. They were long enough to bind them on the back of her head and out of habit she usually used her wand to pin them up.  
Although she hadn't used it for magic for about 10 months now, she still felt safer having it around and ready. Even if she couldn't hurt an attacker with a spell, she maybe could poke him the wooden stick in the eye. She grabbed for the polished well known piece of wood and was still wondering about her role in the relationship to her boss when a gargantuan wave of magic hit her and yanked her off her feet. Hermione flew through her bedroom and landed several meters behind on the carpeted floor feeling the pain of that unexpected landing.

Severus was already sitting at his dining table when he felt a gigantic magical outburst near him. It was almost possible to see the magic in the air but he could clearly feel it tickling and buzzing until it erupted with an unbridled force. The wave crushed so hard upon him that he felt backwards with his chair and hit his head on the hard tiled floor.  
Jumping up he had just one thing in mind - Hester!  
Instead of using the stairs he apparated right in front of her doors and didn't bother knocking. Ripping the heavy door open he rushed over to her. She laid on the ground and hold her back with one hand, the other one clenched around her useless wand.  
„What's going on? Are you okay?" he asked breathily, examining her face and body for obvious signs of injuries. „Oaaahh," was the only answer she could give him, still dizzy and unable to pronounce something clearer.  
„What happened?" Severus searched for her look, making sure he wouldn't miss any sign of indisposition.  
„I really don't know," she answered looking around. „I grabbed for my wand and then something erupted right in front of me." She eyed him anxiously.  
„Do you think something happened to me?" He grasped her hand and could feel a slightly tingling around her fingertips.  
„I wonder...," he murmured while his mind was racing and setting together all the bits of information he had.  
„Try a spell...," he instructed her finally. She looked at him unsure if he was serious or maybe had suffered a damage on his head.  
And with a last look at her wand she pointed it at the remainings of her nightstand which had burst by the magical explosion and said, „Reparo!" and it took her just a blink of her eye to realise that some of the shattered wooden pieces started flying around. They became more and more gathering and only a few seconds later the nightstand looked like he had before.  
Severus looked at her, unsure how these things had happened. But in Hester's face he didn't see joy or relief. He could only see shock and disbelief in her features.  
However a second later he felt the same crackling like in the dining room and Hester's eyes widened in shock when the magic agglomerated again. The next instant another eruption took place and tossed both of them through the bedroom.  
Severus's head collided with one of her bedposts and he went unconscious before he even felt the pain.  
The next he could remember was a cautious shaking on his shoulders.  
„Tristius! Are you okay?"  
With still closed eyelids he tried to move and a headache made him moan. How long had he been knocked out? It had to be Hester calling for him. And opening his eyes he saw her face, dusty from the explosions and with teary trails on her cheek she looked at him.  
A strange thought turned up into his mind and hit him with full force.  
‚What the hell did Hermione Granger do in his bloody home?!'


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Still flashed by the events of the day Hermione was lying in her bed and - as she already was used to - staring at her blue and silver ceiling. But as usually the stars painted on the velvet sky didn't provide her with any answer and she was left to her own nebulous thoughts.  
Why could she do magic again? How long will it last? Who knew if it was gone again by tomorrow? Or maybe in a week?  
She thought about herself being 11 years old and purchasing a wand at Mr Ollivander's store. She remembered the flimsy prickling when she had touched her wand and she smiled.  
That feeling was back.  
Turning her head she saw the elegantly carved piece of wood lying innocently next to her. Grabbing it it was back - the feeling of a magical power flushing through her veins. The feeling she had missed nearly a whole year. But why it had come back now nobody knew.  
Tristius had run several diagnostic spells over her. They had experimented with different kinds of magic and spells. She had transfigured chairs into sofas. She had accioed books from the library. She even had stunned him and finally neutralised the spell.  
The only thing clear was - her magic was back.  
For safety reasons Hermione had insisted on sleeping alone in her room. she didn't want to hurt Tristius again and she needed time to think. One last problem was troubling her mind.  
The only reason she had hid her true identity was her sorrow that death eaters could know that she was incapable of doing magic. She chuckled when thinking about that strange coincidence that she started to work for a death eater who had known her lack of magic from the beginning. And fortunately he had saved her from many perils instead of delivering her to any leftover death eater mob.  
But now she had no more reasons to hide herself.  
But would he believe her? And more frightening was the doubt if he would still wanted to be with her. She still was in danger and letting him know who she really was would cause him maybe even more trouble than he already had have with her merely presence here.  
And even if she didn't believed it, but she feared his emotions would change if he knew she had lied to him all the time. With a heavy heart Hermione decided it would be better in the first place to keep her secret to herself. If her magic vanished again it would be better to have stayed with her background story. And she could tell Tristius later the whole truth, when she was absolutely sure that he wouldn't condemn her for having lied to him.  
And with an uneasy feeling in her heart sleep came over her and due to all the uproar today she slept without a dream until the next morning.

Severus paced around in his sombre bedroom while his hands were moving again and again through his black hair. He had shut away any thought about her the whole day during the scrutinising of her magical abilities. But now alone in his rooms, everything looming in his mind was too overwhelming. His memories were back. And not just a few - all of them. All at once he could access and they were so disturbing that he already knew there wouldn't be a minute of sleep tonight.  
Hermione Granger was his employee.  
And even worse than that - she was his... he didn't dare to name it.  
He had slept with a student of his! What exactly should he do? He didn't knew it was her, so he couldn't be blamed, right?  
But the people weren't interested in those facts when judging somebody they already thought of as a repulsive prick. There was no way he could get out of this story without earning more hatred than he already had. And the feeling in his stomach told him another surprising truth. He didn't want to get out of this thing - whatever it was. Now he knew exactly where this familiar feeling had come from when she had talked to him, challenged him or just was near to him. He already knew her better than many other people. He knew her way of thinking, her dedication to her work and her abilities as a witch.  
But he never had believed she was able to cast and accomplish a spell with that range of effects successfully. He didn't even believe Dumbledore would have been bold enough to try it. The amount of magic used for this kind of spells was abhorrent.  
Severus had developed a theory over the course of the day that her magic hadn't faded away but was still there. But the spell had needed so much magical energy that it had started summoning it from its caster. That's why she was still able to brew potions and enter Diagon Alley. These tasks needed nearly no magic at all. But everything else - every spell or cast wouldn't have enough magic left, because all was leaping into the fulfilment of the tremendous spell that was building up over the last months.  
Nearly one year it had took it to gather enough magical energy from her to be powerful enough to perform its task. It had given him back his memories. And he was pretty sure that there were a lot of people feeling better today. He wondered if the spell was even affecting material damages that have been done in the second war. They'll have to find out.  
But what should happen to them and their strange relationship?  
He was sure within his deepest being that if Hermione would ever find out about his real personality and identity she'd be gone in a second. She was able to apparate now and he guessed she wouldn't even bother to say goodbye to him.  
And to be honest, he had to admit that she had any right to do so.  
He had belittled her, made her look like a fool in front of her classmates, had insulted her and never had he been helpful or just kind to her. It was her utmost right to hate him. No. There was just no way she would stay with him willingly when she had recovered his true name.  
And hadn't they warned him to use his real name? Still there were hordes of death eaters fighting for a long lost cause. It would be safer for both of them if he continued to stick with his alter ego for a little more time. And his chances to savour her lovely personality, her stunning wits and her perfect body for as long as possible rose with every minute she didn't know his name.  
A deep throated sigh left his mouth, because just thinking about her made him go crazy. He'd jump on her right now but she needed rest. As far as he could judge, Hermione was still overwhelmed and unsure how to take the recent unfoldings. He had to take care to not blab out his new gathered knowledge.  
And finally going to bed he admitted - even if unspoken and just to himself - that maybe his feelings had rooted already deeper than he had guessed.

The next days their potion brewing business had come to a halt. They were still busy figuring out Hermione's magical abilities but by the evening of the next day it was quite obvious to both that anything was like it had been before they had met.  
Hermione was behaving a little bit reserved for she was still unsure if she had made the best decision not telling him the truth about her. And she hoped in her heart that Tristius wouldn't recognise it or if he did, that he would blame it on the unforeseeable events and not on her feelings towards him. But he acted as usual and by the end of the following week they were behaving like before. The only difference was that the mournful moments they had shared the last months were nearly gone and they enjoyed their new freedom to occupy their minds with happier thoughts.  
Still there were days when he was grouchy. He was closed and didn't even let her in. But Hermione just let him be and waited until he had calmed down and would allow her to participate in his thoughts and emotions. Then she embraced him, felt his heartbeat and enjoyed the feeling of his chin resting on the parting of her hair.  
Sometimes she would commence kissing his neck and shoving her fingers under his mostly black longsleeved shirts. The change from the bugged to a wanting Tristius made her feel alluring and she enjoyed the power of enlightening his mood.  
Most of the days they'd end up wherever they had encountered and would have great sex. On other days they'd seperate just minutes later with better mood and a flickering between them that would unload in the night when going to bed...  
Just some weeks later there had been a lousy letter from one of Tristius's clients. He had complained about a delivery of Developing Solution which in his opinion was of lower quality than usual. Tristius had been furious by this accusation and it took him nearly two days to calm down. He had offered the customer a free replacement to keep the business relationship stable but Hermione knew he was far away from ever working for that impertinent idiot again.  
In the afternoon they had finished the brewing and Tristius had packed the 10 vials thoroughly into 2 packages. Nostradamus, his big owl, grabbed both of them and departured into the fading afternoon while he was still grinding his teeth in resentment. Hermione saw Tristius frown while following his owl with his dark brown eyes. How dare this asinine guy pretend the potions hadn't been alright! They double-checked every delivery before sending it away and it had been perfect as always, she was sure about it!  
She strode over to Tristius and let her right hand tangle in his black hair. He watched her with still disgruntled features. Trying to boost the mood she suggested dinner and he nodded.  
Somehow, Hermione thought, she needed to make him feel better. She hated seeing him like that, troubled and hurt by some stupid morons. And when she withdraw herself to take a shower and get dressed she decided it was at least worth a shot trying to cheer him up a little.  
Grinning she changed to a pair of loose-fitting trousers and the same green tanktop she had worn before their first sexual encounter in the library. Hopefully that would distract him a little bit. Grinning she pinned up her hair to make sure he'd have a perfect view on her shoulders.  
And in her best mood she strolled down the stairs to join Trustius who was already waiting in the dining room. Entering she saw that he didn't even bother to look up. He was still busy browsing through his mails and he grumbled when their dinner prepared by Mili emerged in front of them.  
There was no talking while eating and Hermione had to hold back a bugged sigh that he just wouldn't let go all of it.  
He didn't even want to read in the library and excused himself early to bed.  
There she was - standing in her room and adamant to make him think about more pleasant things. But how? He was already in his chambers and she'd never disturbed him there.  
However there was always a first time for everything, wasn't it? And it couldn't do any harm to make her plan a little more obvious so she undressed her trousers, leaving her only in her green top and a black panty. And determined she set foot into the corridor leading to his chambers.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Severus groaned silently when he heard a knocking on his door. He swore that he'd kill the next one bringing him bad news. The whole day he had had the feeling he needed to blow something up. Already in his pyjama trousers and with bare chest he walked over to the door and opened it.  
Hermione faced him, kneading her hands and looking troubled up at him.  
„I'm sorry to disturb you," she pleaded and his heart melted immediately.  
„I think I suffered something like a flashback. Well, actually I'm not sure but I felt uneasy and wondered if you would allow me to stay with you until I calmed down a little bit?"  
Humbly beseeching him with her big hazel eyes and her rosy cheeks she looked so enticing that he merely had a choice. With already softer features he nodded and stepped aside to open her the entrance into his room.  
When she had passed him he inhaled sharply.  
She was barely wearing anything. No bra under her top was one thing but only a small black panty was covering her female buttocks and he felt his blood darting down into his loins.  
With an unsure smile she innocently looked at him over her shoulder and asked, „Were you heading to bed already? I won't disturb you, I promise."  
Severus didn't trust his voice so he just nodded and stared at her, how she climbed into his bed on all fours, sticking out her bottom in his direction. He already could feel his stiff penis scratching on the fabric of the trousers and he knew that there was only a mu missing and he would jump onto her without asking for permission.  
She knew his manner already and that most of the time he loved it rough and stormy but there was no way he would use her weak state of mind to force himself on her. She had come to him in need and he would provide her with compassion and consolation.  
But what choice did he have if she was presenting herself to him in such a blunt and tempting manner?!  
When she finally had settled in his bed he drew nearer and lifted his blanket. Getting in he snatched another glimpse of her perfectly shaped long legs and the small black piece of underwear which was showing more than it veiled. He cleared his throat and while placing himself next to her he paid attention not to touch her. After covering himself he stared uneasy at his ceiling because he knew it would be way harder to resist her when he looked in her alluring face.  
His whole body flinched when he could feel her move and the next instant he could sense her warm fingers touching his abdomen. And hissing between his teeth he turned his head staring into her eyes which were flickering up at him. She crept nearer and he already felt the heat of her body reaching his skin. His heart pounded heavier every second and finally he felt her bosom touch his alrady burning skin.  
„I hope you don't mind having me here."  
Speechless again he shook his head, eyeing her and trying to figure out what exactly was her intention. Her index drew small circles on his scarred chest and he could feel the traces hot and with every inch he felt his resistance giving up. At last she grazed one of his nipples and he moaned before succumbing to her debauchment.  
She was still clinging on him and eyed him intently and he rose his head and came near her lips.  
When they finally met in a hungry kiss she led herself crumble down and the only feeling left was her. He lost every thought, every sorrow and what stayed in his mind was Hermione.  
Severus let his mouth linger on her lips, his tongue exploring her hot and wet mouth. He dominated her and she was just obedient knowing he needed to have control over things to calm down his troubled mind.  
When his erection pressed almost hurtfully against her body he rolled himself over and had her pinned under him.  
He pushed his loins against her black panty and she gasped loudly. Oh, how he loved her way of responding to him! She was so willing, so innocent and her trust in him made him feel like the mightiest wizard who had ever walked the earth.  
Kissing and biting her neck he let his hands roam her still covered upper body, caressing the outer curves of her beautiful breasts. She had nearly no space to move but still her back arched in his direction.  
Smirking Severus let his long and skilled fingers glide over the front of her top, pulling down its upper end to help him kiss and lick his way farther down. Finally he reached the point where the straps of the elastic piece of fabric slid down her shoulder and he pulled the cloth completely over her perfect shaped breasts. Immediately he lowered his head again and his hot lips enclosed her nipples. His tongue encircled them skillfully, while he enjoyed her moaning and the pressing of her lower body against his stomach.  
But still he wasn't ready to take the next step. Ultimately his front teeth tucked her left nipple and rolled it back and forth. Hermione screamed under his torturous treatment and he felt the dampness between her legs rise.  
Sitting up and marvelling her he began pulling her top and her panty over her divinely moulded arse and then took his time to carve the image into his memory.  
Hermione laid stretched out before him, her round breasts and slim waist made her compelling as Venus herself and her blushed cheeks and erected nipples together with the moisture glistening between her long legs proved his abilities in playing her body. Lowering his head between her thighs he could smell her arousal and like one of the ancient Greeks being offered a probe of the legendary nectar and ambrosia he dipped his tongue slowly into her delicious liquid. He measured her folds, tucked her labia and played softly with her clit. Hermione wound herself under this procedure, tortured and relishing at the same time and he loved how her breath came panting and heavy. Looking up he saw sweat covering her belly and her heaving chest.  
Feeling she reached a point of no return he entered two of his long fingers without hesitation and pushed repeatedly into her until he could hear a groaning of pleasure and feel her inner walls trembling against his hand. She opened her eyes and watched him and he loved that disheveled look on her. Seeing her watching him he started to suck her sweet juices from his fingers and her blush at that show made the want to fuck her grow even bigger.  
He stood up and stripped down his trousers, leaving him totally naked in front of her. Climbing back to her onto the mattress he pushed her over and admired her back. She was utterly beautiful and his want and lust nearly hurt.  
He raised her hips and entered her with the best view on her perfect arse, her slim waist and the firm back of hers. Holding her firm in place with his strong hands he began thrusting hard into her. Again and again he pressed his rock hard member into her soft and stretchy tightness, relishing the grip she had on him. Merciless he panted and stroke once more until he felt his release coming near. Grabbing her shoulder he finished.  
„Hermione!" He finished with a hoarse cry.  
After that he collapsed on her trying to catch his breath and steady his heartbeat before he'd get a heart attack.

Hermione laid smiling next to Tristius. Apparently she had been quite successfull. Grinning she turned and faced him, when the smile on her lips froze.  
She startled.  
What had he called her?  
He had used her real name. The name she was hiding from him and had never told him. Her eyes went wide in shock. He knew who she was! She flinched back and saw the question in his face.  
„Is something wrong?" he tried to touch her.  
But she stumbled out of bed. Hermione grabbed her clothes and tried to shield herself from his views. She stared at him in horror and couldn't get one thought straight so she did what her first reflex was telling her. She fled. Shutting his door with a loud slam she hastened over the corridor and entered her room. She shielded the room and got on her clothes. Pacing around she tried to clear her thoughts. How could he know? Nobody except Harry knew who she really was. She had never told anybody! So how had he found out?  
He was a death eater at the end. Maybe he had used a spell on her or he was a legilimens. She gasped in terror when thinking of Tristius lurking into her mind, spying on her most private wishes and thoughts. But why hadn't he said something? He could have asked her. Why had he concealed from her the knowledge he had gained?  
She felt his betrayal deep in her heart and shame of being caught by somebody. The burden of their intimacy was weighing even more.  
She had to go. Now, immediately. There was no way she would be staying here in that house with somebody she couldn't assess. Hermione grabbed her wand and with a few quietly uttered spells shrank and summoned all her beings. Crooks was observing her carefully but didn't make a move to come near and sit himself in his transport basket. So she took him in her arms, carried him over and stowed him away.  
When she finally grabbed all her stuff she heard steps on the floor.  
Sudden panic soared in her stomach when she heard a heavy knocking in the door.  
„Hermione! Open the door!" His deep voice roared on the corridor.  
A voice that usually would drive her mad with pleasure.  
But now...  
She had to leave. At an instant!  
And when she saw him opening the door she was relieved feeling the pulling of the apparation behind her navel and just before vanishing she saw Tristius's face staring unbelievable at her.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Severus had seen her disapparate and fell to his knees. Still not believing he stared at the place where she had vanished just one moment ago.  
How could he have been so imbecile! He had been so outraged over the last days that the pressure had build up intensely. Of course he had recognised her efforts to calm him down, to exhilarate his mood and to help him switching his thoughts. But he had dwelled in his fury and had nourished his astringend mood. As a spy he had to keep calm and had to act always well-considered. Otherwise it would have cost his life.  
And now - his feelings had erupted so heavily that he had spoken before realising what exactly he was saying. Hermione's presence had relaxed him so much, that he had bursted out with the only thing, he mustn't tell her.  
And now, even worse than losing his life, he had lost his love.  
Severus faltered.  
He loved her - that he was pretty sure about at this moment. A gentle joy over this latest discovery wove into his despair.  
What could he do now? Was there a way to win her back? Severus had no idea how to accomplish this task. So many years of his life he had been a spy, lying to the mightiest of wizards, helping the looniest and teaching the stupidest of them. He had participated in torturing and killing although he had despised it. He literally had sold his soul - two times. But nothing, none of this experiences had left him as devastated as he felt now. For the first time in his life he had seen hope and had felt love which had been offered to him freely.  
And he, the dumbest and most half-arsed wizard of all times, had ruined it all beyond hope.

Hermione had only stayed 2 days in her home. The big empty house felt oppressive and in the nights she woke up sweat-soaked and unable to calm herself down. He dreams were troubled by Tristius's face and the closeness they had shared. Her feelings were an uncomfortable mixture of guilt, fear, affection and insecurity, that left her restless through days and nights.  
It was no option to stay with Harry and Ginny at Grimmauld Place. They wouldn't grant her just one minute of peace. Although she appreciated their friendship and caring it would just drive her mad at the moment.  
So Hermione had decided to owl Neville who was at education for becoming a herbology master. He had answered promptly and after two nights she had packed her stuff again and apparated to London, where Neville lived in a small flat. They had talked the whole evening while having something Indian for dinner.  
Hermione had told him most of her story but not all.  
Just the most private parts she had left out...  
The next day Neville had left for work early at 7 o'clock and he wouldn't be back before 8 p.m. He spent nearly all day in the greenhouses to collect information about all the exotic and indigenous plants he studied and afterwards compared them with the knowledge already written down in the numerous books about that topic.  
So Hermione sat in his small appartement, dwelling on her miserable thoughts. She was still stunned regarding this whole situation but even more bewildered by her still intense feelings towards this mysterious man, who had betrayed her in that unexpected manner. Although not completely sure about her actual feelings for him, she guessed they hadn't really changed.  
Still she saw him in her haunted dreams and his desperate look while he watched her disapparate. But there were also dreams waking her up with nothing other than pure lust and desire.  
Even awake, being alone in Neville's flat, her skin urged for the touch of his fingers and the kisses of his hot lips. And Hermione was deep down sure, she would never again find a man that was completing her the way Tristius had.

It was hopeless. He had owled her two letters but both came back unopened, unread and without a sign of her. He wasn't sure if Nostradamus couldn't find her or she just had refused to open them. It seemed Hermione had banned him from her life and he didn't know how to contact or find her.  
Desperate as he was he had even thought about contacting Potter and ask him for help but he wasn't ready for this step yet.  
A sarcastic grin showed on his thin lips when he thought about the stupid answer he would receive from bloody Potter.  
No way - he would save that just as last emergency exit. But how could he continue now? Nostradamus hadn't told him if he had reached her or not. And Severus wasn't sure were she actually lived. Maybe she wasn't even at home?  
His mind clouded more when he imagined Hermione sitting together with Potter and her Weasley-friends and telling them exactly about the events that happened. His teeth ground while imagining the questions about how big his penis was or how he had loved to fuck her. That Weasley-girl had always been a little minx!  
His head fell forward and was stopped by his hands. There must be something he could do!  
And the next moment he knew which person he needed to talk to.  
And just a second later he had his quill ready and started writing a letter in his usual spiky script.  
„Dear ..."

About a week after her arrival at Neville's she received a letter, delivered by a grey owl with orange eyes. It was addressed at her in an elegant script written in emerald ink. Hermione opened the letter curiously and enfolded the pergament.  
„Dear Miss Granger,  
I want to inform you that there is a matter of utmost urgency I need you to attend to. Your presence is therefore needed at Hogwarts.  
Concerning the spell you casted and it's impacts I also need to give you additional information which can only be shared in a personal way. I guess the effects were greater than you initially intended them to be. If you can spare a day in your schedule to come to Hogwarts please let me know at an instant. Because there are other people involved and need to be invited please owl me at least a week in advance when you schedule your visit. I look forward to your hopefully positive response.  
Yours sincerely,  
Minerva McGonagall  
Headmistress of Hogwarts, School of Witchcraft and Wizardry"  
For the first time since she had left Everwinter Hall her thoughts were not circling about Tristius and his behaviour on their last day. Had the spell at least worked out? She hadn't felt nothing different except of her magical abilities to return. And that had been enough uproar for her for the next months to be honest.  
Maybe something had gone wrong? Biting her lip Hermione paced the small livig room where she was sleeping on the couch and wondered about the effects of the ominous spell. Could it even be that she had unintentionally hurt somebody? Actually it should only have positive effects but who knew what really happened when the magic had done its work?  
Of course she had to help Prof McGonogall in every matter regarding to her casted spell or not.  
And because the owl was still sitting on Neville's desk and eyed her critically with its piercing orange eyes she sat down and grabbed quill, ink and paper to formulate an instant reply.  
Noting anything important she rolled the short letter up and bound it carefully on the leg of the waiting grey bird. She gave it a treat and then opened the window wide to grant the big bird an easier departure.  
Just one and a half week later Hermione bid goodbye to Neville. It was a Friday morning and the sun was shining although it already felt like winter. Their breath was forming little white clouds when Neville embraced her heartily.  
„Mione, you know you're welcome at any time," he smiled ar her. „It was nice having some company!"  
She nodded. „I'll owl you whenever the next misery is coming up!" she laughed and then hugged him back.  
„Thanks for all."  
„Anytime!" he grinned and than turned. And with a last waving of his hand apparated away.  
Hermione made sure she had everything packed and than apparated home. She had decided to leave her stuff at her home before she apparated to Hogwarts. Who knew how long this project would take and it would be more convenient for Crooks to stay at home in this time, not caged in his travelling box. Hermione emptied her pockets and opened Crooks travel cage. And then she inhaled deeply. A nervous prickling could be felt in her stomach and she asked herself what Prof McGonogall had to show her.  
And in the next second she felt the typical pulling of the apparation and her view became blurred just to show her the village of Hogsmeade with the next blink.  
Old memories crept up in her mind while she wandered the street that left the village and led her through woods until she saw the magnificent skyline of the ancient castle housing the school of witchcraft and wizardry.  
She reached the high wrought-iron gate and waited and about 3 minutes later a tall witch left the castle and strode towards Hermione.  
Although her features were rigorous Hermione could see her smile from some metres away.  
„Miss Granger! What a pleasure to see you again and in quite a good condition I assume!" and without expecting what could occur Hermione found herself in an embrace that left her rather speechless.  
"Professor McGonagall, it's great to be back! Thank you so much for the invitation. I hope it isn't a very unpleasant reason you wrote to me. To be honest I'm quite agog knowing what happened."  
„Yes my dear, don't worry. It's just a matter of elucidating some events in the last weeks and months that need to be... well... elucidated."  
She smiled and led Hermione on the way to the high entrance portal of the main building.  
Their first way went to the astronomy tower which had been destroyed completely in the night of the 2nd May. Hermione gasped and showed herself around, struck by the completely rebuilt tower.  
„You must know that we hadn't have time to fix everything up here. There were spots in the castle that needed the mending more urgently, so we actually hoped to take care of this part later in the vacations. But some weeks ago Prof Trelawney had her shift on checking the castle grounds and when she came back to the castle, gesturing around and babbling something about a new astronomy tower we nearly thought she had made her third prophecy!" The old witch chuckled slightly and Hermione thought back to her awkward divination lessons.  
„But getting out we understood what exactly she ment. The tower had rebuilt itself over night and without anybody's help."  
Hermione watched her distrustful. Could that really be?  
While showing her more places that were now back to their former state Prof McGonagall told her also, that the use of Dreamless Draughts had dropped by 3/4 without any explicable explanation.  
The potions helping with relaxation after psychic attacks were also not needed any more.  
Hermione listened carefully and still blatantly doubtful.  
While wandering in direction of the headmaster office McGonagall continued,  
„It looks like we owe you more than just a regular ‚Thank you'!" Hermione shook her head and her curls were flowing. And she had watery eyes when she replied,  
„Professor, even if I had known before that it would cost me my magic for a year, I would do it again! It was absolutely worth it and I'm glad it hadn't been futile!"  
Professor McGonagall smiled and while they stepped up the stairs to her office she proceeded,  
„And now there is this urgend matter I wrote you about. I had to invite a person whose life had changed dramatically since your spell had fulfilled it's virtue. And I need you prepared because you may be shocked about whatever he'll tell you. He actually prefers to talk to you alone so I offered him my office. Please keep in mind how much he is through and let him tell you his story without judging."  
Now she was again as stern and serious as Hermione had known her during her school days.  
Acquiescently Hermione nodded and girded herself for the upcoming encounter.  
Professor McGonagall said her good bye and Hermione tried to gather her thoughts. And then she pushed down the handle and entered the poorly lit spherical shaped room on top of the tower.  
At first her eyes needed some time to adapt to the dim twilight and she couldn't see nobody.  
Aghast she turned around when she heard a deep snarling voice.  
„Ms Granger."


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

It cost him all remaining patience to not jump up and run towards her. So he remained sitting and just stared at her. She had her palms covered her mouth and stared doubtfully at his face.  
„P.. Professor Snape... you... are.. you're alive!" She whispered breathlessly and Severus felt his heartbeat raise finally hearing her using his real name.  
„I'm not your professor anymore, so you can leave the title behind."  
„But you... you were dead!"  
She shook her beautiful head and there was nothing he wished more to do than to cup her cheeks and press his addicted lips on her beautiful mouth.  
‚Calm!' he reminded himself. ‚There's just one chance and if you blow it you'll be lost forever!'  
„Well that's not exactly how I'd put it." he raised an eyebrow at her.  
„But what happened? How is it we didn't know you're still alive?" Her hazel eyes watched him carefully, examined his face, waited for an answer.  
„Well, as you can already guess it's quite a long story. And I'm not very fond of telling it over and over again. Are you familiar with legilimency?"  
She nodded without saying a word. Of course she was, he smirked inwards. The brightest witch of her age...  
He scraped together all of his remaining courage.  
„Do you trust me sufficiently that I can show you?"  
He was so nervous and tensed, he thought she had to hear his heartbeat. But remaining his calm appearance he waited patiently for her to make her decision. Using his well-trained poker face he just stared at her not showing the slightest bit of emotion. There - she nodded and he swallowed hard.  
„Okay. You better take a seat." He pointed at a chair next to his.  
„It won't hurt, but it's important you relax. It'll be far easier if you won't fight my entry."  
His black eyes stared intensely into hers and she withstood. Severus already could feel the crackle between them and judging the blush creeping into her delightful cheek she felt it to.  
Finally Hermione nodded and he gave her a last assuring look before he leaned back and closed his eyes.  
With a last deep breath he concentrated himself and felt her presence nearby.  
Severus stretched the edges of his mind, touching hers slightly until he felt her opening to him and shutting down her resistance. Then he entered and waited again til he sensed her getting more comfortable with his mind inside hers.  
Then he started to show her.  
Initially he began with the night of the fight at Hogwarts. He showed her Nagini's attack and herself, bowed over him.  
He made her feel his loss of desire to live. He wanted to die that night. He had been prepared to die. But instead of death and silence there'd been just painful burning and a frantically clinging on the last thread of life. Although he didn't intend to he sensed her shock and her empathy towards him and his pain.  
The next he showed her was his month-long treatment in St Mungo's. Some of the visits of Minerva McGonogall and some discussions with the healers, the excruciating neutralisation of the venom and finally his discharge.  
Again he took a deep breath to calm himself and then he showed her his reflexion. He cut the image to not show her the well-known chest with its obvious pattern of scars. Instead he focused on the burnt and cicatrised sensible skin of his neck, his chest and shoulders and finally he concentrated on the picture of his face, looking as bestial as he had felt. Then he let her have a glimpse on his emotions of that time. The devastating despair, the belief of being better off dead than alive and the knowledge of being utterly lonely and desolated. Again he could feel her emotions rise and flinch when getting an idea of his situation.  
She opened her eyes and looked at him, astonishingly examining his actual look.  
„Yes, that is the first thing I have to thank you for," he admitted with a twitching of his lips, showing her maybe the first view of a smile in his face since ever.  
"There's still something more, if you're willing to grant me a little more of your precious time?"  
Hermione closed her brown eyes again and leaned back and Severus took it as a sign to continue.  
He implemented a picture in his head of himself, waking up in the night, shaking with fear and terror, his burnt skin aching. He showed her his memory gaps, the missing knowledge, the certainty of being a murderer and torturer. The unability to remember the people he had fought for, driving him mad and leaving him with a head that felt like shattering. He didn't spare the flashbacks of the torture he had to endure from the Dark Lord who felt bored or unpleased with the information he had delivered. Severus revealed her the incurable state of his ruined mind.  
When withdrawing he got a glimpse on her emotions before leaving her mind eventually. It was compassion and sympathy, not pity as he had feared.  
Looking at her he saw streams of tears flowing down her beautiful cheeks. He bent over to her, whiping away the tears with his left hand. She was startled by that simple gesture of consolation, while he was baffled with a sensation of electricity shooting through his body when he touched her skin.  
With a broken quiet voice she whispered,  
„If I had known you were out there alive..."  
„No. I have to thank you already for everything you've done. Even if it was not your purpose to help especially me."  
Severus tried to produce a smile and hoped it came close to something like that.  
„Actually you've done far more than you already know, but I fear if I showed you, you'd be shocked even more. But of course, I offer you the whole truth. So if you dare I'll display it completely."  
He was still near to her and it would've cost him just a short movement to capture her lips with his. His nostrils inhaled her sweet scent and the low light of the numerous candles lit her face in the loveliest way.  
Staring at her he saw her pupils wide and while her cheeks grew more and more rosy she parted her reddened lips. Now even she had to feel the crackling and attraction between them he thought. And when she nodded again he released the breath he had hold unintentionally.  
Now it would show if his hope had been to no avail and he closed his eyes a last time and inhaled deeply to summon all of his courage.

Again Hermione felt his soft entrance into her mind. She waited patiently, adjusting to his immense presence. When she got used to it he felt nearly familiar and woke a feeling of connection she couldn't quite grasp or explain. He woke a certain arousal in her that left her quite confused. Then she felt his preparation for showing her another scene of his life.  
She could see him in front of a mirror, expecting his looks again. She felt his despair of looking as repulsive and odious as he had behaved in his former life. His mind was dashing around about how to explain himself without making somebody flee at the first sight at him. Then she felt an idea coming up in his mind. Determined he took his wand and started applying magic onto his body. He at first smoothed and adjusted the scarred skin on his left neck and his face and chest. The skin straightened and lost its noxious dark red colour. After that he adapted his nose, made it a little smaller and less bowed. Some string inside her heart began vibrating while looking at the scene before her inner eye.  
Then the Snape in her head added some brown into his black eyes and shortened his hair. And when he finally reviewed his looks Hermione felt her heart skip a beat.  
She knew this face, these eyes. At least she heard him speak and finally distort his voice just slightly to make it unnoticeable.  
All the grief and sorrow she had seen belonged to him!  
Hermione felt him lingering on the edge of her mind, felt his reluctance to go and the urge to show her more. She felt his hope and his pain and his biding at her reaction.  
But Hermione wasn't sure about her own feelings towards him. It was maybe the best moment for her Gryffindor courage to show, because she hesitated to block herself from him.  
He was so careful, modest and nearly tender that she encouraged him to show her more.  
Was that relief she could sense in his next movements?  
He showed her her arriving at Everwinter Hall and their work. Then he followed with his fight against Sykes. His rage and fury and his fear of losing her to this perverted scum and the power raising in his veins when confronted with the option of never seeing her again.  
The next was his waking up next to her and realising that she had discovered his Dark Mark. She could feel his despair and lost hope and the accusations he hold against himself. And she understood his retreat from her to save himself from numerous emotional injuries he had already sustained and the ones he expected from her.  
Hermione breathed heavily and her heart felt like it wanted to burst. He offered her the whole truth and hadn't finished yet.  
Seeing her lying like dead on the dock, knowing about the kelpie's scream and Severus's determination to fight until death to save her. Then how he had lifted her against his chest she nearly could feel his pounding heart and he apparated her away unto the safety of his home. He laid her into the bed and she felt his excitement touching her while checking her for further injuries.  
Then their first kiss. Even thinking about it made Hermione nearly moan herself but his conflict, being torn between the arousal and of misinterpreting her behaviour and forcing himself on her. And finally his feelings towards her when they had their first night together in the library. His worshipping her and putting her first to make sure she was satisfied and pleased.  
And the last thing his thinking through and his vow to himself to dedicate his life to make her happy. And the result that left him with that disastrous feeling of lying to her about his true identity.  
Hermione swallowed hard, unable to pronounce just one clear thought.

Severus waited still, his breath was shallow and his heart racing in his chest. He could feel sweat upon his forehead due to the increasing feelings roaring up in his heart and the effort of showing and explaining without words. It also cost him a vast amount of energy to show restraint and don't assault her with his emotions.  
And now there was just one thing left and he still felt her being curious and willing to learn about his experience. So he showed her the day when her spell had started to show effects on him. How he'd woken up and knew her name. How he'd riddled about the way how the spell had worked and what it had done to her. How he'd struggled with his newly gained knowledge.  
And again the moral certainty that she would withdraw herself from him and would never listen to him if she knew who he really was. The hopelessness how he could ever explain her what had happened and the missing self-confidence to explain his feelings, his love for her.  
And then he stopped but stayed in her mind. He controlled himself to not dive into her feelings and he just waited for her response or any sign of retreat or anger or something else.  
Then he could sense a change in her state of mind. Instead of receiving just his feelings and memories she began to show.  
He felt her unsecurity, her feeling of betrayal and confusion. He felt her sorting out her emotions and it caught him totally by surprise that he felt affection and attachment next to her bewilderment.  
At the end the feelings stopped, she had expelled him from her mind and he took a deep breath.  
He had done whatever possible. There was nothing more he could try and at least, no matter what her response was, he had shown her his feelings and she knew now what lied dormant deep inside his soul.  
He opened his eyes which was way harder than he had expected. And turning his head he looked at her, exhausted and unable to say something more. Showing her all of this hadn't took him too long, maybe half an hour or even less. Trying to keep calm he focused on breathing to remain patient. Finally she moved and came near him, no fear, no rejection and no revulsion in her view. She looked him straight in the eye and then started examining his face and especially the right side of his neck. He himself had explored the skin when he had recognised that her spell had cured the sensibility and the scarred histoid there.  
„May I?" she asked in a low voice, checking his features.  
He nodded and swallowed hard. Obviously she didn't believe him and he couldn't blame her for doing so. He had lied and betrayed her trust and her feelings.  
At least he gained the chance to prove his veracity now. So he nodded.  
She stretched out her hands and he turned and bent his head slightly, presenting her the right side of his neck and face.  
A shudder ran down his spine when he felt her warm fingers touching him. This would be the last time he would feel her touch and he tried to memorise it as accurate as possible.  
At first she touched his neck, nearly caressing it and testing its smooth surface. There was not a single trace of the burnt and corroded parts left. Severus had his eyes still closed when he sensed her hand rising up, touching his face. She trailed her fingers up until she reached his hairline and then tenderly brushed his still shorter black hair out of his face. Severus's breath accelerated when he remembered her touching him like this but with other intentions. Again she felt his cheek and then, without announcement, his heart stopped beating. Her lips were gently meeting his and Severus opened his eyes wide in shock.  
He pulled back watching her aghast.  
What did she do? Severus checked her face for any sign of spitefulness but couldn't find none.

Hermione had tried to remain calm while Severus had shared his memories with her. The feelings he had made her feel had reminded her on her own ones. She also had felt alone and despaired when her magic was gone. She had feared telling Tristius the truth and she had felt loved and accepted the messed up way she was. And she had missed him, more than she was willing to admit.  
He hadn't done nothing wrong. All his action were well considered and even from her point of view absolutely comprehensible, although she had judged his actions as a betrayal.  
The short kiss she had given him had been a test for her. And closing her eyes while their lips had touched each other she had tried to square her feelings towards Tristius with the face of her former potions professor.  
Finally he dared say something with his deep voice, sounding hoarse and low, not more than a whisper.  
„What are you doing?"  
She thought about his questions and finally selected her answer carefully.  
„You know, it's like casting a spell you don't know much about. I didn't know the effects and neither did I know the risks I was taking, but still it felt worth trying. And in the end it improved the life of more than just one person."  
Her eyes sparkled at him with a determinant look.  
He watched her intrigued with his deep black orbs and Hermione felt she would drown if she didn't stop looking into them. Then he came near and raised his hand to touch her face, took one of her curly strands and tucked it behind her ear. The cracking between them grew even more intense and again she felt that magnetic pull towards him. She was leaning into his touch and closed her eyes, absorbing this feeling which was a mixture of familiar memory and new and exciting shiverings down her spine.  
And when she felt his lips again on hers she sighed and a strange unexpected feeling dashed into her core.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

Just three weeks later Severus stood nervously in the shadow of the black trees in the forest behind Everwinter Hall. His breathing was shallow and he didn't dare move a finger.  
He vigilantly observed the murky water of the lake where he once had saved Hermione.  
There! The water moved and the rings from the centre began spreading until they reached the dock. He hold his breath, his wand was ready in his cramped hand. Just one wrong movement and he'd shoot that wayward beast into nirvana. The question how he ever could have agreed to that suicidal plan was beyond him.  
Well, actually it wasn't. Let's put it that Hermione could be quite persuasive, sitting in his lap, kissing his neck and convincing him that nothing could go wrong.  
Sweat appeared on his forehead and his pulse rate was rising, when he watched her slim frame waiting on the weathered dock. Suddenly he could see it and his breath came to a standstill for a second. It was terrifying and beautiful at once. The lean black head of the kelpie rose out of the water, its mane was glistening black and green like seaweed. Its eyes were shimmering and shining, revealing the enormous power of a soul ancient and strong inside.  
It moved its head near her and he felt his wand twitching in his hand. He'd never let that monster hurt her, but Hermione had been quite determined about how to handle this situation. After some carefully research she was pretty sure that hairs of the mane of a kelpie would be exactly what was missing in his new potion. And she also was confident that the kelpie she had saved would grant her some of its hairs.  
There - she stretched out her hands to touch the soaked slippery fur of the mysterious animal. It didn't move except for its heavy breath raising its muscular chest. She grasped into its mane und pulled out some strands of algae hair. When Hermione had patted its head again it rushed back and with a shrill shriek vanished again into the murky water of the lake.  
A meaningful grin spread on her face as she waved him with the bundle of hair in her left hand. And Severus freed the breath that had been captured in his lungs for the last seconds without him recognising it. Back at home they started the next series of tests to review the effects the kelpie hair would have on the potion.  
Two days later Severus sat in the library and did some light reading. He looked up when he heard the door move. Somebody stepped behind him and he could feel delicate fingers brushing through his hair and massaging his scalp. His eyes closed and he sighed with pleasure. A grin twisted his mouth when he felt Hermione's soft lips on his ears and his neck, caressing and teasing him simultaneously. Then she stopped and when he reopened his indecipherable black eyes she already sat in his lap, touching his building erection and grinning cunningly at him, her hazelnut eyes sparkling in her pretty face.  
„I just come from the lab to tell you, that it worked out!"  
„Really?" He tried to sound at least a little bit reluctant but knew that she would see through him as she always did.  
„I told you it would work. You should've asked me sooner..."  
Triumphantly she pressed her hands on his chest, leaning forward and started kissing him. Her tongue in his mouth felt phantastic and Severus felt his thinking vanish, making space for more primordial behaviour. He chuckled slightly, catching a strange thought in his mind. Hermione backed up and watched him with a quizzical expression in her face.  
„What's going on?" she finally asked and he grinned back at her.  
„At least I was right with one thing." He ascertained.  
„And what could that be?" she requested playfully to know.  
„You really ARE an insufferable know-it-all!" And with his deep voice he laughed out loud seeing her feigned sulk before he kissed her pouting lips, slightly biting them until she was putty in his hands. With a foreknowing moan he apparated them both in his bedroom, wondering who had ever thought that they'd end up together.  
Even if he didn't know what the future hold ready for them, he was absolutely positive about never again letting her go.

Crooks remained alone on the sofa in the library, staring with his piercing eyes at the chair that had been emptied just a second before. And closing his eyes he started purring contendly, like all his plans had turned out right.


End file.
